Description: qtip darkray 2nd
qtip1332 - July 8, 2009 08:52 PM (GMT)
this is my version
Isaac55 - July 9, 2009 12:12 AM (GMT)
You kinda left me hanging on this one. All I know is that the two characters are trying to catch the assassin. There isn't enough conversation, and the random soldier didn't make sense either.
Looks nice though :P
qtip1332 - July 9, 2009 01:34 AM (GMT)
darkray - July 9, 2009 11:24 AM (GMT)
i think ur trying to hurry the story up way to fast i don't see how two kids get all that stuff after 1 month?
oranj - July 9, 2009 03:55 PM (GMT)
darkray - July 9, 2009 06:05 PM (GMT)
well the plot was were two poor kids and we get granted the armor not buy it
qtip1332 - July 9, 2009 08:19 PM (GMT)
that was your plot mine is about to village kids the armor was wat they already had they just didnt use it and besides im not rushing the story they only have one person and there hasnt been any real problems yet
diggybop4 - August 9, 2009 12:58 PM (GMT)
Tygr - August 9, 2009 02:56 PM (GMT)
Blah... so far I haven't seen anything interesting but... I think you're skipping things... ( first when matthew guy attacked that soldier but then in next frame, everything was done O.o and second in latest one... wtf..? they said that they'll talk to that bandit leader... but there's no conversation or anything)... whatever...
and bit grammar please... everybody knows how to use dots and commas... ''I like playing computer watching television and smoking everything sucks bugs are annoying'' sounds nice... doesn't it?
Renegade - August 10, 2009 06:29 AM (GMT)
What the hell is this shit?
First off, the grammar makes me want to run into a pit of hellfire and actually enjoy it.
Second, the characters had a random costume change halfway through,
Next, the storyline needs narration. You also need to introduce each character and not just jump into things. Unlike you, we don't know who each person is.
Finally, I've only seen your comics, nor Darkray's.
Fuck, get it right...
Exxucus - August 10, 2009 10:17 AM (GMT)
I'm beating a dead horse with this, but please use proper grammar when doing this, and posting for that matter. Type out your script in a word processor first, and then copypasta into the comic. Grammar is important.
Secondly, Ren, why are you harping on him for having the characters change clothes over the course of a month? I change clothes every day, TV show characters change clothes every episode, and even anime characters change clothes every season. If the wardrobe fluctuation made me lose track of who was who, I would agree, but it's simple, so get over it.
Story... narration... yep, work on those. But, at least the aesthetic of it is appealing. Using conversation backgrounds when there are mugs and battle backgrounds when there are battle sprites makes things look more natural.
Tygr - August 10, 2009 10:58 AM (GMT)
|QUOTE (Exxucus @ Aug 10 2009, 01:17 PM)|
| Secondly, Ren, why are you harping on him for having the characters change clothes over the course of a month? I change clothes every day, TV show characters change clothes every episode, and even anime characters change clothes every season. If the wardrobe fluctuation made me lose track of who was who, I would agree, but it's simple, so get over it. |
But random ppl in middle age didn't change their clothes so much... (FE's maybe something middle age thing ocf...) and random kids would have gold for new stuff... I would rather save some and buy food.. but if they had those already (where ever they got them...), fine.
Denning Rosewater - August 14, 2009 11:06 PM (GMT)
You forget that people in the middle ages didn't have soap, often didn't have clean water, and tend to shit and piss in a very small hole that rarely got cleaned.