Boys Will Be Boys, Welkin | the Pussing Wart

[Isa Karun]

Okay, so the Pussing Wart was actually not as bad as its name. Isa made a point to tell Welkin that whoever named the joint probably was probably suffering from either the largest brain trauma there could ever exist, or was smoking something very strong at the time.

What made its clients come back for more were (apparently) comfy beds and the world's best cuisine an inn could provide. Isa could attest to the last one: he was presently engorging a large piece of fish. Whatever they did to it, it tasted like bacon -- and he'd only had bacon once, but instantly loved the hell out of the thing and would probably maim a human being for a few grams of it, if given the chance.

"Fanks f'th' free lunch, man," he said, his mouth still full of the tasty goodness. He was oblivious and not really interested in whatever had gone into Welkin to treat Isa to a meal again. Isa ate as much as he did when he was sixteen. In fact, his appetite usually grew in size with every passing month. Tobalt warned him that it wouldn't last and by the time Isa'd get his age, he'd be twice his size.

"Soooo... good!" came his attestation, with a large smile.

[Welkin Njordson]

Welkin smiled in return, though he wasn't as eagerly eating his own dish. It was a tasty piece of venison and some peas, but his appetite was all over the place that evening. One moment he'd be hungrier than ever, the next too anxious to eat, and the next his stomach threatened to return everything to his plate.

Luckily, at the moment, his stomach wasn't threatening anything.

"Glad you're enjoying it," Welkin said. He looked down at his plate and shifted some peas around. "I actually wanted to ask for your help. With, uh...clothes. Mostly."

[Isa Karun]

Isa snorted, threatening to choke himself. "Foft you din'eed anyshing but yer mil'try clovs."

[Welkin Njordson]

Welkin shifted in his seat. "Well, normally I don't. But, well, circumstances...." He sighed, then pulled out the parchment the princess had sent him. He'd folded it into a square small enough to fit in his pocket.

He held it out for Isa to take. "Make sure your hands are clean," he warned.

[Isa Karun]

With confusion, he rubbed his palms against his shirt and -- still chewing -- brought the parchment to his eyes. He groaned when he noticed the writing, not because he anticipated what it was, but because it actually required him to read. Couldn't Welkin has given him a picture or something to look at? Reading was effort!

His eyes scanned the paper, but before he could even finish the first sentence, they jumped to the signature and he felt the muscles in his throat contract painfully around his food. The next moment, Isa flung the thing aside to make room for his coughing and spittle as he desperately tried to breathe.

[Welkin Njordson]

"Hey!" Welkin grabbed the parchment before it landed on food or in a puddle of ale. He carefully refolded it and tucked it into his shirt again. "Yeah. Well. Now you understand." He gave Isa a few hearty slaps on the back. "You choking?"

[Isa Karun]

He grabbed Welkin's hand in an instant, with considerable strength and allowed himself to breathe. Slowly. His throat felt as if it had been raped with a hammer. Painfully, he grabbed a mug of ale and toog a generous swig, trying to clear his throat. Although it helped, it felt like acid, making Isa cough more.

[Welkin Njordson]

"Ow." Welkin took his hand back and sat still, waiting for Isa to regain a proper breathing pattern. Meanwhile he stabbed a piece of meat with his knife and chewed it slowly. Carefully.

[Isa Karun]

He made an ensemble of faces until he settled for just plain ol' disgruntled and sat himself back at the table. The wench who'd served them was already on her way, concerned. Isa gave her a lopsided smile, through his misery, and waved her off. She smiled back, but left them to it.

"By the Martyr, that girl's gonna kill me someday!" Then he reached out and wrenched the parchment out of Welkin's hand, unrolling it and actually reading its contents this time. As he did so, he frowned harder.

"Huh," was all Isa concluded his endeavour with, after which he relayed the piece of paper to his friend and stared thoughtfully at his food. "So you're going then."

[Welkin Njordson]

"Well, yeah," Welkin mumbled. "I could hardly say no to a princess." He tilted his head. "Are you upset?"

[Isa Karun]

He looked up, almost serenely. "No, I'm just surprised." Suspicious, more likely. "So you want advice on clothes. From me." Because obviously Isa knew what was all the rage these days.

[Welkin Njordson]

Welkin shrugged sheepishly. "Well. I dunno what I should wear. It'll be a ride through the woods, but I'll be surrounded by other nobles. And royalty." He sunk into a slouch. "I don't have anything worthy of all that."

[Isa Karun]

"What were you wearing the first time you met--don't answer that." What could Welkin have possibly been wearing? "I'm assuming you were sporting your lovely everydays. In which case... wear those?" He shrugged and popped some more food in his mouth.

[Welkin Njordson]

"Worse than my everyday, actually. I was practicing so I didn't want to get good clothes dirty." He placed his elbow on the table and his cheek rested on his balled fist. "But even my cleanest uniform isn't good enough. I don't even have any jewelry or anything." He sat up suddenly. "Should I get her something? Should I bring a gift?"

[Isa Karun]

Isa immediately wanted to say 'What could you bring her that she couldn't buy herself?' but stopped himself and looked at his food. "Dunno," he said, matter-of-factly. "Maybe if you bring her flowers or something. Girls like that.

"And if she's seen you at your worst... won't your best -- and then some -- be odd?"