Worst Homecoming Ever..., [TAG: Gray Summers]

[James Oakhaven]

The choppy water slapped gently against the hull of the ship, sending bits of dirty water up to tickle James’ feet as he guided the ship by control pad. He sat on the bow of the “Horizon”, his pants rolled up above his knees, bare toes dangling over the front of the ship. They were cruising into the Houston Ship Channel, passing under the Fred Hartman Bridge, its yellow support cables still intact. Mel sat behind him, clinging close to his back, her fingers rubbing his shoulders firmly. He was grateful for her presence, since he was a little bit freaking out.

They passed by the Exxon Mobil refinery on the starboard side, shut down and eerily quiet. For a man used to running an oil company, the sight and sound (or, rather lack thereof) of a shut down refinery was akin to a death knell. He sighed, and put such thoughts into the back of his mind. He wasn’t an executive anymore. He was nothing more than the skills he had in the “real world”. He was a talented inventor and engineer, but that’s all he was good for. What he could physically give to the world.

He continued on past the refinery, through Scott Bay, and past the Lynchburg Ferry’s crossing. To their port side was the San Jacinto Battleground, where Texas had won it’s independence, and the San Jacinto Monument, the tall white obelisk topped with a two hundred twenty ton Lone Star. They pulled passed the battleship USS Texas, permanently docked at the battleground, her hull rusting and corroded now that the desperate restoration effort had ceased. For many years the state and numerous volunteers had worked tirelessly to restore the century old ship, but apparently the terribly polluted waters of the Houston Ship Channel had finally taken their toll, as she sat heavily on the bottom of her berth, leaning over on the concrete pylons to her starboard side, her command tower broken off and lying on the smashed visitor center.

James took a deep breath, and throttled the engines up, moving past. He’d spent many years in Texas, in Houston specifically, and had fallen in love with the area. The weather was nightmarish, of course, but the history of the area was fantastic. He’d spent many hours reading everything he could find on the area, and it’s evolution from railroad hub to shipping terminal to refinery row to technology titan to medical Mecca. He’d spent more than his fair share of time in the LaPorte/Baytown/Deer Park areas, since that’s where the Ship Channel (and thus refineries and chemical plants) was, and had spent many hours on these waters. To see the area so...destroyed...it was hard. He didn’t want to dwell on it, and so he sped as quickly as was safe through the industrialized areas nearest the coast.

They passed by other ships, but for the moment, at least, nobody was to be seen. Sure, there were the occasional walkers about, that stepped right off of their boats or the docks or embankments as the “Horizon” passed, but he didn’t slow for them. They continued on exploring as far as they could, finally coming to a stop near Hirsch Street when the ship’s hull couldn’t pass under the bridge.

“I guess this is it, kiddo.” he said, softly. “I’m home...”

Mel just hugged him tightly, and he was grateful for her understanding.

*********

They’d spent the night on the “Horizon”, docked back out on the coast, near the area known as Morgan’s Point. In the morning, James had packed his pistol and some extra ammo, along with an MRE for later, should he have to eat lunch dirtside. He’d left Mel on board with strict instructions to shoot anybody who tried to board the ship while he was gone, to which she’d rolled her eyes.

“She’s my ship too, James. I’m not going to let anybody have her.” she said. “Also, you’d better not get lost, because I’m not risking my ship to come get you.”

He smiled, and kissed her before he left.

Now, three hours later, he had procured a map of Houston, and some more summery clothes for the two of them, along with a few packs of gum from an abandoned gas station, Mel’s only luxury request for his scouting trip. Houston’s idea of fall and winter wasn’t anything near what it was further north, and even in October, the temperature was a humid and sticky eighty five degrees, and so a change of wardrobe was in order. His jeans were a little heavier than they were when he’d left the ship, and his shirt was soaked with sweat. He walked with a steady stride, thankful that he’d taken up hiking as his chosen form of exercise before the apocalypse, and was probably only three miles or so from the boat, but something caught his eye, and he had to stop.

There, in the middle of a grocery store parking lot, was a bright red 1936 Studebaker Coupe. Its paint was pristine, large white wall tires a high contrast to the sandy colored asphalt lot it sat on. James rubbed his eyes a few times to be sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Sure enough, the car remained in view. He walked over, and circled around carefully, taking his time.

Cars were his thing, other than the Horizon. His first obsession. Cars were what initially got him interested in engineering. He’d loved taking things apart, and had rebuilt every car that anybody he knew would let him work on. For this treasure to be just sitting in the parking lot like that...it was a gift before the end of the world, and even more special now. He offered a silent “thank you” to whichever deity had deigned to let him encounter the beautiful machine, and turned to head back to the ship, but he was halted midstep by a voice from the past that came from the grocery store’s front doors.

“James?”

[Gray Summers]

Gray wasn’t okay today. But when was she really okay? Ever since Maria had died everything had been a huge mess and today was no exception. She had left her boat for rare excursion out into the world, and nothing felt right. She found herself stumbling, her balance just ever so slightly off, her land legs would take days to get though, and she didn’t have days to wander. Instead she made herself feel secure with a shotgun strapped to her back and shells filling every bit of free space she had on her person, a lovely payment for a very personal lap dance. She wasn’t the best shot but if it got down to a close fight with a zombie then she would have to rely on the years of kickboxing she had been proficient in. But relying on kick boxing always seemed dangerous, all it would take would be for one of the undead to be fast enough to catch on of her legs, one bite and she would be out.

She wore a tight fitting white tank top, dingy from walking around and breaking into stores, in arms bore the scratches of climbing through broken windows. Tight skinny jeans clung to her legs making it easier for her to be protected against bites, and not impede her running too much. Her long ebony locks were tied up in a ponytail, keeping it out of her face and off her neck so the humidity didn’t overwhelm her. She only needed to find a little bit more food to fill the suitcase she rolled behind herself. She make quick though unsteady steps, yanking the suitcase behind her hoping it wouldn’t make too much noise and that she wouldn’t need to abandon it in a fight. There was a large grocery store up ahead, and she had to hope it hadn’t be ransacked too terribly yet. Outside of the store was a bright red car, one she couldn’t name, but could understand was very nice. She smiled briefly at the car, some small semblance of a world she used to be connected to. One of her ex’s had loved cars... well lots of them had loved cars, but one had really loved them, you could tell, loved the way they felt, the way they sounded. James Oakhaven. She hadn’t thought of him in awhile, she was certain he was dead, almost everyone was dead. She shook her head pushing the thoughts back into him memory before walking back the car into the store.
*******

It took nearly an hour but she had managed to fill her suitcase with valuable canned goods, food that wouldn’t go bad, would keep her healthy. In the mean she could barter she had plenty of goods....Or really just one set of goods. But as she pushed open the door, which was thankfully unlocked and unbarricaded here, a ghost from her past stood outside the door. She narrowed her eyes at the figure by the car so sure that her mind was just going crazy over having seen the car and being made to think of the man that would of loved the car... or maybe he really was a ghost. And he stood there admiring the red car, just like she knew he would. She froze.

A million thoughts rushed through her head and just as many feelings through her heart. James and he had been pretty hot and heavy about 7 years ago. She had barely been 19 and he had been a very handsome 34 year old. He had literally swept her off her feet. He had amazed her, blown her mind, showed her a world that it had taken a long time to recover from. A world where she could have nice things, and be on the arms of man that made her respectable, but not respectable enough. No one in his company liked him with her, they belittled her behind her back, and for the first time in Gray Summers life.... someone had made her feel inferior. They had parted for so many reasons. He was going to New York, she was pregnant, and she was angry. Gray had never been a calm person, always passionate, always loud, always bitter in some way. She suspected she had been at her best with Maria, before her had been bad, after her was much, much worse.

She swallowed the lump that rose in her throat, the lump that always rose when she thought of her dark haired little girl, the one that had had the same eyes as James, dark and impassive. When Maria had died she had expected him to come, to call, to ...fuck to do something anything. She thought he would be there somehow when everything fell apart, but there was no call. And there in lay the last feeling she had really felt for James... Betrayal. “James?” She asked finely, dark brows furrowing to make sure it was really him. He looked up and over, and she could see the well groomed goatee, the arrogant posture, the very air around him reeked of intelligence, of specialness. She took a few steps closer, pulling the suitcase behind her. She looked him over again, and then clear the distance.

She didn’t know what to do, she just stared at him. She wanted to cry, she fought that. She wanted scream at him, but she was too relieved he was alive. She wanted to touch him, but that seemed to personal. She just stared into his eyes, her pale blue eyes looking for some answers in there. “You never called...” Her whole body shook at she breathed in, “I just kept waiting for you...” She meant in jail, but she supposed that she wasn’t interested in time frames just yet. Maybe it was fair as a blanket statement as well anyways.

[James Oakhaven]

“James?”

At the sound of her voice, James turned, and with disbelieving eyes stared into a face he hadn’t intended to see for many more days. Gracefully arched brows, piercing blue eyes. She was mostly unchanged, if a little dirtier than the last time he saw her. She was still beautiful, still strong and young and vital. The sight of her hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. The thing that had probably changed the most was her face and the expression she wore. She looked…hurt. She was hurt, and he was smart enough to reason out why.

He could’ve been in Houston days before, weeks before, if he’d tried. The sad truth of the matter was, he hadn’t. When she probably needed in the most, he wasn’t there. He’d stayed in New York with what was now his life, and he’d let her go through the loss of her daughter, and subsequent investigation and trial, all alone.

She took a few slow steps towards him, hesitantly, as if she wasn’t really sure she wanted to move closer to him. He tried to come up with something to say, but the words just weren’t there. He watched as she moved closer, looking him up and down.

“You never called...I just kept waiting for you...”

Her body began to shake, and he immediately forgot what it was he was there for. He forgot where he was headed, where he’d come from, and who was waiting back on the ship. In that moment he forgot everything except her. He remembered her. Her smile, her laugh, her body, her taste. In that very instant he remembered everything that she had been to him.

“Oh, I know, I know.” he said, reaching out to take her in his arms. “Oh, God, Gray, I’m so sorry.”

He wrapped her in a bear hug, pulling her close, and buried his face in her hair.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Gray. I’m so sorry.”

[Gray Summers]

There had always been something in James that had felt some how stronger than every other person in the world, bigger and tougher and stronger. Maybe it was because he had been powerful in a sense no one had been since then, maybe it was because when he was going for the kill in any situation he was cold and impassive and clean about it, maybe it was because he made her feel small, and young and delicate, and that somehow made him seem like the whole world. And right now as he watched her, seeing straight through the stone walls she put up for everyone else she felt all of those things again.

Her mind kept screaming, he wasn’t there, he didn’t call, he didn’t care, he made you raise her all alone. But she couldn’t hear it over the pounding in her ears, over the deafening reality that he was here, he was standing in front of her, had he come for her? Why was he here? She wanted to ask him so many things, but she wouldn’t not yet. And then, he was pulling her close to him. Her head connected with that amazing place that isn’t quite shoulder and isn’t quite throat. It was the same place she had always fit, except when she had been wearing those ridiculously indulgent heels to any of his events, the place she claim as hers. He was apologizing, and it took her aback.

This wasn’t at all like him, but he seemed so exposed, she could feel him breathing into her hair, probably the cleanest part of her at the moment. Her scratched and bruised arms surrounded him, tightening around his abdomen. He felt solid and real. Amazingly present. She couldn’t stop herself.

She leaned into him and immediately the tears came, the sobbing followed. “She’s gone James.” she blurted out. He had to know, he would have known, he had always been well informed. In all the time she had thought about how to tell him, what to say when this moment came, how could she tell him she was gone, and now it just poured out. A flood that could not be staunched. “I’m sorry.” she cried into him. She knew the truth about Maria and him, and even if she hadn’t ever told him, she suspected he knew too. The small girl with dark eyes, and ebony hair, who else could she belong to? She turned pressing her forehead to his shirt, she could smell him, the way he had always smelled. Gray pulled her head back, revealing his face from her dark locks. She peered up at him a weak smile crossing her face as she realized for the hundredth time that he was here. “What the hell are you doing here?” Her eyes were now red rimmed, trails from tears down her cheeks, they probably weren’t done falling, but she could hold back for the moment, she could just listen and know that he was here with her.

[James Oakhaven]

For a long while, James just held her tightly, feeling her ribs expand against his forearms, and the brainy part of his brain kicked on, wondering how much she’d been eating lately. Of course, prison food had to suck, and then...well, with everything else...he understood. Food was hard to come by. The only reason he didn’t have a similarly exposed skeletal structure was that he’d been prepared to be stuck at sea for weeks at a time when he left port, and hadn’t let his supplies dwindle while they were on the water.

“She’s gone James.”

“I know, baby. I know. I-” he broke off mid sentence.

What does one say to the mother of one’s recently missing and presumed dead child who one has never met? He hadn’t the foggiest idea.

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, and pulled her away to look him in the face.

“Don’t do that, Gray. Don’t you do that.” he said. “I...I should’ve been here. I should’ve...well, I should’ve done a lot of things, but the point is that this isn’t your fault. I don’t give a shit what anybody says. This isn’t on you.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He stepped back, and leaned down on the fender of the car. Clearly, if he’d been in his right mind, he’d have sooner shot himself before he treated such a piece of art like the glorious machine resting under his backside as such, but these were extraordinary times, and for now, he needed the car to serve a dual purpose, which it did with only a soft creak from it’s suspension in way of protest.

He didn’t really know how to proceed. How to explain all that had gone on between him and her, though there’d been no contact. How to tell her that though he’d been gone almost seven years, he still knew all about their daughter, and that he knew that she was his daughter. How he saw his grandmother’s eyes in the little girl’s face...

“I came for you.” he said simply. “I’ve been paying attention for six years, but it’s not enough. I’m sorry it took...this, to make me do something about it.”

[Gray Summers]

Baby... He called her baby, just the way he used to. In the same way, with the same tone. The same earnest, calm air hovering over him. In his arms she was safe. Baby... Did that mean that he still felt the same way, where things the same? She didn’t know, she didn’t even really know if things should be the same, if there was anyway things could be the same? She was sure when they had parted way it was for the best, that he was the wrong one, the mistake. But when Maria disappeared her thought turned back to the man that had given her that child in the first place. She couldn’t help but think of what James would do in this situation, how would James handle it? Could he make the police stop chastising her? Could he have paid her bail? Could he have made this all go away with the way he commanded rooms? With the very energy that he could always seem to command her with.

When she apologized he silenced her, the warmth of his body separated from hers and she felt devoid of him again, distanced. Was he still there? Was he real? Some remnant of her memory finally breaking loose to attack her at her core, taunt her with the one that got away. Some sitcom special about realizing the person you denied yourself the most was the one you had wanted all along. His words should have been uplifting, should have reminded her what she knew in her heart, she was innocent. But Gray didn’t think she would ever feel relieved, she didn’t think she should ever feel innocent enough. Especially as she watch James lean back against the car that she knew he would love, she felt guilty when she looked at him, felt the weight of the choices of her life pour down on her.

“I came for you.” Her heart stopped for a minute, playful childhood dreams of weddings, of the life she had planned on having, of what all the things she wanted to feel, all of the things she had always felt. He’d been watching, he’d been paying attention and he was sorry. She wanted to be angry, she would probably be angry later. Would feel some how invalidated, would feel like he had violated some trust, how could he have watched her and not wanted her back? How could he have left them alone? She wanted to hate him, but instead she found her feet closing the gap between them, seeking the warmth of his arms, because suddenly the air felt cold without him.

Her fingers, long and delicate reached out to slide past his cheek, his facial hair brushing her wrist, as her hands snaked into his hair. Without listening to her mind, her body stepped up on it’s tiptoes finding herself pressed to him, lips pressed to his. Every feeling of hurt dissolving instantly. Evaporating into the air. It didn’t matter. Because she was kissing James again.

[James Oakhaven]

James stared at the dirty asphalt at his feet, and sighed, waiting for her to slap him or curse him or punch him in the jaw and knock him the hell out (because he knew she was capable of it). He knew he had no excuse coming back and expecting anything less than abject hatred. Hell, he probably had no excuse coming back. He should’ve just left Houston to her. He should’ve left her city in her care, and stayed his stupid ass in New York. Hell, he had a penthouse apartment and two houses that could’ve kept he and Mel relatively safe until he could arrange for transportation out of the city via helicopter.

Oh, shit.

Mel.

He’d forgotten all about her in the shock of finding Gray. How was he going to explain Mel to Gray? He couldn’t bring himself to look at her just yet, her silence saying more than enough.

Which is why he was surprised when he found her hand on his cheek, slipping past his beard, entangling her fingers in his hair the way she did when she needed him in the worst way, her grip strong enough to hurt in the very best of ways. She pressed her body against him, once again melting so perfectly against him that it seemed she was purpose built for it, and his arms automatically wrapped around her, pulling her close. His right hand slid around her ribcage to cradle her shoulder, and his left moved down to rest on her spine, just above her jeans. He leaned back, pulling her with him, and as she stepped up onto her toes, he lifted just slightly, and raised her from the ground.

Her lips found his, and all thoughts of Mel or New York or Houston or the ‘Horizon’ or the corpses that currently strolled about the world disappeared, tossed so very willingly away. He had her back in his arms, relatively safe and sound, and that was all that mattered. The whole world could burn to ash in the next instant, and he wouldn’t have even noticed it beyond the slight rustling of her hair against his fingertips.

They didn’t move for a long moment, him just leaning back against the car, until the tortured and exposed metal of the suspension gave way under their shared weight, and the fender under his backside dropped six inches, breaking their kiss and setting her back on her feet with an abruptness that he hated but would later be thankful for.

The truth of the matter was that they were out in the open, and he knew for a fact that both of them had their eyes closed for a long time, and it almost got them killed. Coming around the corner of the service station was a gray skinned woman, her blonde hair pale and stringy in the sunlight as she shuffled forward. She moved quietly, without the usual moaning or wheezing that most of her kind had, though she did speed up her pace a little bit when she saw the two of them.

“Shit.” he muttered. “I guess it’s time to go. Come on.”

He let her go, a little unwillingly, and moved to pick up her dropped suitcase. It was heavy, but he was still strong enough to shoulder the extra load without too much trouble. He turned and reached for her hand.

“I’ve got a ship not far from here. Fully stocked and powered, all the amenities.” he said, nodding towards the coast. “It’s not the ‘Gray Sky’, but it’s not bad.”

[Gray Summers]

Suddenly she couldn’t remember why she had ever been mad, why had she wasted time when he was alive, and he wasn’t just alive he had come for her. Six years, and a tragedy to late maybe, but he was here. He was holding her against him, his broad palms pressed to her back. So familiar. Like they had practiced this a million times, and she supposed they had, what seemed like a lifetime ago. But nothing was forgotten, not a beat was missed. The same warm embrace, the same soft parting of lips, the way his beard felt against her bronzed skin. Anywhere he asked her to go, she knew she would say yes right now. He was a shining beacon of her past, a small piece of the girl she had lost lingered in his face, in his gestures. How had she become so like him, when she had never met him? She had been so smart, she had gotten straight A’s was two grades ahead, everyone adored her. Just like everyone had adored him.

She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to accept that the world was the piece of shit it had turned into, didn’t want to remember that Maria was gone and that she wouldn’t be back, didn’t want to remember what her body had looked like prone on the exam room table. But the world had a different plan and the car gave under them. His arms relaxed and she groaned annoyed that the world had to intrude on her moment, on this one moment of happiness.

She saw her nearly the same time James did, heard the breathy growling, and was immediately shaken back to real life. Her hand flew to her gun but she didn’t unholster it because the noise would bring more. They had just been being incredibly stupid and reckless, much like the way they had played with his career, reckless, careless, children playing with a matchbox. People had thought it was sort of endearing with her, she was just twenty one, he had been the villain then. But she had loved him, and the rest of the world could be damned... and where did it get them. This was actually an amazing metaphor for their relationship.

“I guess it’s time to go. Come on.”

She hesitated, he released her and grabbed her suitcase. Still she felt rooted, did she go with him? Was that the right move? This wasn’t the time to follow her heart.

But then he turned and reached for her hand. She bit her lip for only a moment before grabbing his larger hand with her delicate digits. He mentioned he had a shit close by, hers was on the other side of the bay. Too far. Where there was one walker, there were more. The words the Gray Sky left his mouth, and she couldn’t help but smile. The word brought back memories of a boat they had spent too much time on, sailing in circles, usually completely undressed, tanning by the water, drinking too much, hopelessly in love.

She cast a final look back at the now sagging car, the walker was closing in on it, bumping along the fender. She grimaced and they were off, her feet following his quick long foot steps.

“Is this a BP ship?” She had a feeling, most of his things had always been courtesy BP. She hated that damn company, hated the way they had made her feel. Like a useless whore, nothing more than a distraction, and she had always been sure they had convinced him of the same thing, but here he was, back for her.

She didn’t hesitate because her life was at risk, but there were so many questions and now that they weren’t kissing they were all surfacing. “Why did you come for me, James?” her throaty voice barely impacted by their fast steps. She was still in good shape, she was always in good shape, too proud not to be. “Don’t tell me there wasn’t some barely legal piece of ass in your office you couldn’t escape with.” Cold. Shit, she hadn’t meant to be so cold. Her true colors couldn’t stay low for too long. Gray was a scrapper, she always had been. The first girl to take off her earrings and get in someone’s face. The first one to start yelling in an argument. The first one to leave when the threat of leaving became apparent. It didn’t even occur to her that he would have rounded the continent for her if there had been a barely legal blonde on his boat right now, never would have even occurred to her.

[James Oakhaven]

“Is this a BP ship?”

He was at first reluctant to answer her honestly. She was never a fan of his employer, and he couldn’t blame her one bit. He’d gotten off light, being transferred to New York, compared to what they’d done to her. They’d all but called her a whore outright (something that he’d threatened to leave the company for, taking with him all the secrets that he knew), and had manipulated him into leaving her at what was probably the crucial time in their relationship.

But he owed her honesty, at the very least. That was the reason he’d come, after all, to get things straightened out. He nodded, and then shrugged.

“More or less. I spent a couple of years designing and building her, but technically she’s paid for by BP. I’m the registered captain, though, so I guess that’s got to count for something.” he said, his strides covering the ground quickly, putting distance between them and the walker. “I told them that I needed some time off, and they couldn’t really say no. I brought the “Infinite Horizon” down the East Coast. I was off the tip of Florida when all this...happened.”

He gestured to the world around them as they passed St Mary’s Church on Park Drive, it’s stone construction sticking out in his head as a potential haven if they had to abandon the ship. He’d have to make sure to clear it first. Surely someone was already there.

“I sort of doubt that they’ll be coming after me for theft of their boat. I sailed as fast as the Gulf would let me go, but I got waylaid by a hurricane halfway here.” he said, slinging her suitcase up onto his shoulder, giving his hand a rest. “I got here as fast as I could.”

She was silent for a long moment, and he could almost see the wheels turning in her head.

“Why did you come for me, James? Don’t tell me there wasn’t some barely legal piece of ass in your office you couldn’t escape with.”

Fuck. She knew him entirely too well. He sighed, and continued on as they passed the point where Park merged with Bayridge, and the street lead all the way out to the water, where the “Horizon” was anchored.

“God dammit, Gray.” he muttered. “There was, and I did. My assistant slash driver, slash distraction, slash...whatever, Mel. She’s on the ship right now.”

He stopped talking, and went over what needed to be said and how best to put it. It wasn’t an easy puzzle.

“She knows about you and...and about Marie. She knows why I’ve come, and she’s okay with it. So she tells me, anyway.” he said, carefully. “I came to find you, and to do what I could to help with whatever there is to be helped with, Gray. I need to know that...that you are safe, and okay, even if that means it’s not with me.”

[Gray Summers]

It would figure that BP would have had a large bit to do with the boat, James could hardly have afforded to make something unique and cutting edge like she was sure anything he designed would be. The man was a genius, that was why they had valued him so highly. Highly enough to make her, as a human being, irrelevant. The company had done a lot of bad to her, but he had always been there, forcing them to let her in front of the cameras with him, belittling any person that tried to make her feel less than amazing at the various events she would accompany him to. He had been good to her, and she still missed that.

When she mentioned a young piece of ass she could practically feel him stiffen and she could only wonder if it was because he was annoyed that she would ask, or if it was because their was a woman with him. Why would he come all this way if their was a woman? “God dammit, Gray.” Oh.... “There was, and I did. My assistant slash driver, slash distraction, slash...whatever, Mel. She’s on the ship right now.”

Ice rushed through Gray’s veins, numbly she didn’t stop, couldn’t stop behind was danger. She yanked her hand out of his. Viciously, coldly, her blue eyes clouded with the dangerous numbness she had shown the world all through her trial. The very look that had made people believe she really was a murderer. He was rattling off something, the bitch knew about her and her child. Fantastic. And she was okay with it. What was she okay with? Even if it meant not with him? He was with someone.

She halted, couldn’t even remember why they were moving her hands balled up in fists. She wanted to hit him, wanted to scream, wanted to cry. He was an asshole. He had always been an asshole but this was a new low. “You have to be shitting me.” she hissed. She stared at her suitcase for a moment trying to decide how best to get it away from him. Fuck it, she didn’t need it. There were more supplies in the world. Her eyes narrowed at him, cold, as cold as she could manage when looking at James Oakhaven. “You misled me, you said you came here for me. You brought a woman with you!” She was shouting, she didn’t care. “Your daughter died! My daughter died, and when you came for answers you brought some bitch with you.” Her cheeks flushed, all the blood in her body was pumping so fast. “Why did you let me kiss you? Why?”

Inside she was mad at herself for kissing him, for looking in those giant, dark eyes again. But outside all the rage was focused on him. “Did you come back just to fuck with me all over again? God knows you did a great job the first time.” And then she spun around and started walking away. Back to her boat, back to where she could cry alone, to where the world made sense. Sure she was sad, she was alone, her daughter was dead, the people she cared about had all either abandoned her or where dead. She was furious that James had given her a glimpse into what it had felt like to have someone there again. Just a tiny window into what her life could have been like. Her fist hit a window in a passing store, not shatter but fracturing enough of the glass to make her hand bleed. Biting pain, distracting, pulling away from the pain she always felt. From the pain that never went away. James could disappear again, with Mel... it would add to the pain, but she could bare it. She could bare anything. She hated him.
It would be hours till she was back at her boat and already she could hear the groans of the walkers brought by her careless shouting and her fresh wound. It didn’t matter. James wouldn’t follow... he never had before.

[James Oakhaven]

James watched carefully as her face went dead. It was the same face that she’d worn on all the newscasts that he’d seen, the face that said that Gray Summers wasn’t there anymore, just the body she’d once inhabited. She stopped, pulling her hand from his, and stood there staring at him, the dead face quickly replaced by her angry face. Her hands curled into fists, and she spoke softly, almost vibrating with contained rage.

“You have to be shitting me.”

She looked at the suitcase of supplies he carried, and he slowly lowered it from his shoulder to set it on the ground, moving carefully, smoothly so as not to startle her. He knew it seemed silly, to treat her like a deer that might flee, or a bear that might try to eat him, but both options seemed equally apt and equally undesirable.

The douchebag part of his brain whispered softly in the very back of his mind that she was unbelievably sexy when she was angry, and threw brief memories of the last time they’d had sex when she was mad at him.

He shuttered those thoughts away, and had the good grace to blush slightly. He looked her in the eye, gently, and saw there that her fury was rooted deep in the very core of her being. It wasn’t something that’d pass easily, and there, just under the surface, was a raw seething agony.

“You misled me, you said you came here for me. You brought a woman with you!”

He raised his hands, defensively, motioning for her to keep her voice down.

“It’s not like that, Gray. I did come here for you.”

His plea for quiet went unheeded, as her voice only increased in volume, starting to echo back at them off of the nearby houses and trees.

“Your daughter died! My daughter died, and when you came for answers you brought some bitch with you.”

He was silent. He had no response that wouldn’t be petty and defensive and reactionary. He had lots of responses, but none were productive and wouldn’t send her either running for the hills or swinging at his face. He’d lost a daughter too, but the difference was that he’d had people to share his grief with. Gray...not so much. She’d gone through so much...too much, really, and she’d just bottled it all up.

He knew that she was like that, wont to just take all the pain and heartache, and let it sit inside and stew and grow until it poisoned her. She wasn’t one to take help from others, even if she needed it. She could do it herself, could do it all herself, regardless of what life threw at her, and anybody who thought otherwise could go fuck themselves.

“Why did you let me kiss you? Why?”

The hurt in her voice tore at him, and he had to fight back tears. He’d never heard her sound so betrayed, so lost, and in that moment all he wanted was to do whatever it took to make that edge go away.

“I did come here for you, Gray. I did.”

He looked away, unable to keep her gaze under her withering stare.

“Did you come back just to fuck with me all over again? God knows you did a great job the first time.”

He heard her spin on her heel, and begin walking away. He mentally cursed himself, and watched her go. He wanted to say the right thing, anything, to keep her there, but his big brain failed him. She slammed her fist against the glass front of the store, and it cracked in several directions, but it didn’t shatter. He’d be willing to bet that her hand had, though.

“Fuck.” he muttered to himself, picking up her suitcase again, and taking off after her.

He’d left her to fend for herself. He wouldn’t do it again.

“She’s blonde, you know. You had that right.” he said, hoping to draw her back, or at least slow her pace towards the growling sounds in the distance. “She’s short and blonde and Southern.”

He took increasingly longer strides, until he was jogging to catch up.

“God dammit, Gray. Stop and listen to what I’m trying to tell you.” he said, tugging on the back hem of her shirt like he had when they were together and he wanted to get her attention. “I’m trying to say that she’s nothing like you. I...I’m an idiot and I wanted something to take my mind off of you. She fit the bill for the time being. And she’s been here for me while...well...while I...while I grieve.”

He rounded her to turn and walk backwards, facing her as she kept moving.

“She’s not...uh, not...okay, I don’t know what we are, but I came here for you, to find you, to...to...to save you, and she knows that.” he said. “Will you please at least give me a fucking chance?”

[Gray Summers]

She was vaguely aware that he was protesting, he had come for her, it wasn’t like that, blah blah blah. She didn’t know how to care. Didn’t know how to feel anything but anger, because she had been angry for so long. Gray Summers was known for her cold temperament and anger the way James Oakhaven was know for his intelligence and charisma. If she had been less self confident she would have never been willing to accept that he was with her because she was good enough. Her bleeding hand pulsed, and she couldn’t make herself care enough to unclench it. The sharp sting of tiny glass fragments, the brittle ache of fractured bone, the wet warmness of her blood, it all served to distract her from the overwhelming sadness that threatened to overtake her at any moment. If she stopped moving, if she stopped being angry she would fall apart. She had been so happy to see him, it had been the first truly happy moment since she arrived home to find her child's window open and her tiny body missing.

He was alive, and that had made her happy. He still could make her happy, but would that fade, would it crumble. She didn’t need him, she didn’t fucking need him. She heard him swear but she didn’t stop moving. Strength was what she had in this world. She was strong. She was strong enough that no matter how much she wanted to collapse into his arms and beg him to just stay with her, just keep her safe, just love her and make her feel whole again, she could keep walking... at least for now.

“She’s blonde, you know. You had that right.” She scowled over her shoulder at him. What the fuck was he doing, was he chasing her down with facts about his new girlfriend. Blonde, figured. Was he so desperate to find someone unlike her. Someone archetypal, that was just like him really. “She’s short and blonde and Southern.” She rolled her eyes and kept walking, curiosity might have a place somewhere in Gray, but she was better at covering it up than most. She could hear the walkers, but they just didn’t register in her mind the way they should have. Her hand was near her gun, she was ready, let them come.

She could hear him start jogging and she had to keep herself from calling him old, to keep herself from resorting to two year old insults. “God dammit, Gray. Stop and listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”

His fingers found the hem of her shirt, like a child tugging, begging. That slowed her a little, the familiar action she had always found so childish now seemed endearing, loveable, special. He said she was nothing like her, he had wanted something to take his mind off her. She shook her head. God, had Ash really been anything different in her life.... maybe because she had been serious about Ash but he was the exact opposite of James. Simple, and young, and woefully obsessed with her, and she had become woefully obsessed with him. But it wasn’t like with James, James didn’t need her. He was too strong to ever need her. And there in had lied her attraction when she was younger. But now.... now she wanted someone to need her. Someone to rely on her. James wouldn’t ever be able to do that. And she wasn’t sure he would ever be able to take care of her either.

She’d been there for him while he grieved, this Mel girl. She glared at him as he got in front of her and turned to face her. “I’m so glad.” She growled at him. “So glad someone was there to comfort you through the death of the child you walked out on. You know who comforted me? The tabloids that called me a murderer, my cellmate who beat the shit out of me for being a ‘baby killer’, my attorney who kept trying to get me to admit to a crime I didn’t do!” Something wild shone through Gray’s eyes. Words she didn’t mean to say, things she had no interest in talking about. She fell on the ground. Just fell. Her breath staggered, she couldn’t breathe, panic ensuing.

“I just wanted you James!” Hysteria clouded her vision. She didn’t want to go back to his stupid fancy boat, where some stupid girl would be sitting all smug that she had been intimate with the person she cared about. This was the kind of fit she never through, she was never like this. But nothing was the same as it was. “How can I give you a chance?” Every word was staggered, tears were building up in her eyes. “You came her to save me with a girlfriend. I don’t want to see her.” Her breaths were too shallow, she felt dizzy.

[James Oakhaven]

“I’m so glad. So glad someone was there to comfort you through the death of the child you walked out on. You know who comforted me? The tabloids that called me a murderer, my cellmate who beat the shit out of me for being a ‘baby killer’, my attorney who kept trying to get me to admit to a crime I didn’t do!”

As James continued to walk, he saw the hate behind her eyes become more focused. She wasn’t just angry, she was angry at him, and was bringing the vast store of anger that she had to bear, solely on him. Her eyes flashed in the afternoon light, and they were different than he’d ever seen them. They were crazy, dangerous eyes. The eyes of someone he didn’t know. They weren’t the eyes of the Gray Summers he’d left six years ago.

Of course, six years was a long time, and when you add a child to that, it’s even longer. He had once known her, quite well he thought, but that had changed. He didn’t know this woman before him. He knew who she used to be, but not her. She’d changed and grown, both as a person and in power, in strength, and inner strength.

“I’m sorry, Gray. I don’t know what else to say other than that. I’m sure you’ve had plenty to say about me over the years, and I’m sure that you’re right about it. All of it, but I’m trying here, and I’m trying hard, to make this right.” he said, as she stopped. “Or, at least, try to make up for how wrong I was. I know I can’t make it right. Nothing can, but I can try to...I don’t know...make it better than it is.”

She fell to the ground, her whole body heaving with ragged breaths. He crouched down with her, aching to reach out and hold her, but he didn’t. Not now. Not yet.

“I just wanted you James!”

Once again he found it hard to look her in the eye, and instead scanned their surroundings. The growling sounds of the approaching walkers were close, and he wished that he’d thought to bring the shotgun too. Chances were that this was going to turn ugly fast, and he wanted more firepower than the suppressed nine millimeter Rock Island Armory pistol in his holster.

“How can I give you a chance?”

Her words were coming in gasps, each word punctuated by a breath as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“You came her to save me with a girlfriend. I don’t want to see her.”

He nodded, agreeing completely.

“I know, baby, I know. And you don’t have to. The ship is big enough that you don’t ever have to be on the same deck as her, okay?” he said, gently touching her arm, his own emotions running high, adrenaline pumping as one of the walkers broke through the treeline, and hissed as he spotted them. “I just need you to come back with me, so that I can see you safely to your own place. If you never want to see me again after that, that’s fine. I won’t push the issue, but I’m not leaving you on your own to fend for yourself. Not again. Not...I just...I can’t.”

He drew his pistol from its holster, the suppressor on the end of the weapon making the movement almost comically awkward. He squared himself to the target, which limped towards them slowly, and took aim. He stood there for several seconds, and finally took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as he squeezed the trigger. The weapon fired with a dull pop, and the walker dropped midstep, his forhead leaking all sorts of unpleasant liquid on the pavement. He turned back to face her, and knelt back down, taking her chin in his hand, gently, and forcing her to look into his eyes.

“Gray...please. I’m begging you. Be pissed at me all you want, and you can take it out on me later, but for right now, I need you to get up, turn around, and walk towards my boat.” he said, praying to whatever gods were listening that she’d snap out of it and start walking, even if it was to get away from him. “I’ll not let you get eaten, but I’ve only got so many rounds on me, Gray. I need you to move.”

[Gray Summers]

The way he looked at her made it completely clear that he was seeing something new. God, and she knew. She knew. She was not the admittedly wild child of her former years, she was jaded. She was damaged. And it wasn’t his fault. She knew. And that only added itself to her panic. What if only guilt had brought him back to her? What if it wasn’t actually about her at all? She didn’t want to feel like he wasn’t here for her, but how could she expect him, seeming to be relatively the same person as he was then, to be interested in the person she had become. This hollow dead person. She knew.

He told she didn’t have to see her, this blonde, southern, young person. That the ship was big enough, she would never ever have to be on the same deck. But that could never be true, because surely these women would size each other up eventually, they would seek each other out, this was natural behavior. And there they would be the Ex-baby mama, and the current fling. And where did that leave them. If she and James started to connect again would this woman just simply always be there nay saying them, would she just stay the woman that had been “distracting” James from Gray? Would he ever break it off with her?

She could hear the hissing, but she just couldn’t feel it the way she wanted to, the way she knew she should. He was pleading, she needed to come with him, he wouldn’t leave her again. Fuck. Why wouldn’t her body respond to what she asked it to do? She didn’t even register him pulling his pistol and killing the zombie, she was oblivious.

But then kneeling before her he did the very thing she could never say no to. He took control. His hand moved her chin to face him, and her blue eyes connected to his darker hues. He was begging. And he needed her to move. And just like that she was awake again. Her breathing slowed, she heard the walkers, and she knew that they needed to go. She was on her feet in seconds, catching the second undead breaking free of the trees. The shotgun was in her hands, pressing the butt to her stomach she squeezed the trigger, the recoil hitting the muscles that were so used to this action. The bullet lodged itself in the walkers skull and she looked back at James. The world wasn’t right but it was under control again. “Lets go.” she murmured allowing him to once against start leading her to his boat. Her hand did not seek out his again, she kept her grip on her gun to avoid the temptation.

She wasn’t sure what would happen back on his boat. She though she should go home, she should not be there. She shouldn’t meet this girl. But the idea of walking away. If she left she might never see him again. She wasn’t sure she had the pride to separate herself from him. “I’m so confused.” She opened up, dismay coating her voice. She wanted to have the strength she used to. But She wasn’t the same.

She looked at him again, the moaning fading slightly. “She was doing amazingly in school, Maria. She was two grades ahead. She was the smallest one in her class.” She smiled a little, proud. She had always been proud. “They would try and bully her, but she could out talk them all. Everything was always turned around on them...” It was hard to talk about her like this, in would’s and was’s. “She was really, so much like you.” And God, she really had been.

[James Oakhaven]

As she stood up and racked the shotgun into place, James could almost see the fire in her eyes flare back to life. Her muscles tensed for an instant, and the boom of the weapon echoed loudly, the slug slamming into the walker’s head, lifting him from his feet and throwing him backwards. She turned to face James, her knuckles white as she gripped the weapon. Her body was tense, hard, ready for action, and her face was set with a determined look that he knew meant business of the most serious kind.

Dear god in heaven, she had transformed into a warrior goddess before his eyes, reverting to the primal, physical creature that he knew she could be when she stopped thinking and just did. Some of his fondest memories were of this side of her being. She didn’t do anything in half measures...

“Lets go.”

He nodded, uncomprehendingly, for a long moment before her words registered in his brain.

“Right. Yes. Of course.” he said, standing once again, and shouldering her suitcase, though he didn’t holster his pistol.

They turned back towards the coast, and the relative safety of his ship. They walked on in tense silence for a while, James wondering how he could reconcile this woman with the memories of the one in his head, and the sparks of her that he still saw, here and there. She was different. Broken in places, but she wasn’t helpless. No, Gray Summers would never be helpless. With or without him, she’d survive. She’d hurt, sure, but she’d survive.

He realized that this was probably his biggest mistake. He thought that she needed him. That she’d never be able to survive without him. His investigators had shown him otherwise, but he was fairly sure that she still needed him. That was what he told himself, when he’d set out to come rescue her and “find his answers”. Surely, with her life on the line, awaiting a verdict in the trial of the murder of their daughter, she’d need him to come to the rescue.

But she didn’t. She never had.

She’d moved on, raised their daughter quite admirably, and had done fairly well for herself, even with the unenviable task of being a single mother. She’d spent the last six and a half years living her life, and he’d spent the last six and a half years watching it happen.

With this revelation, his whole view of the world changed. He’d wasted six years, doing nothing, not for himself, not for her, not for their daughter. He’d stopped. He’d stopped living. He had his projects, of course, and the “Horizon” was a wonderful distraction for a while. Mel had stepped in and had saved him from himself, from his own mind, and he’d gladly accepted her at the time.

Now? He had no clue what was going on, nor what was going to happen. For the first time in decades, he didn’t know what was coming next. The only thing he was sure of was the ground under his feet, and the pistol in his hand. He knew those, and so that’s what he stuck with.

He kept walking, and kept his grip firm on the weapon. He ran through the things that he knew in his mind as he moved.

The ground was hard, and supported his weight, for now.

His pistol was warm in his hand, the metal heated by the sun, with thirteen rounds in the clip and one in the chamber.

Gray Summers had gotten over him.

It was a shame he’d never gotten over himself.

It was an even greater shame that he’d never gotten over her.

“I’m so confused.”

He blinked, pulled out of his self pitying train of thought by her voice.

“Yeah. Yeah, I get that too.”

He walked on, and he knew that she had glanced at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to return her gaze just yet, and so he stared straight ahead.


“She was doing amazingly in school, Maria. She was two grades ahead. She was the smallest one in her class.”

He could hear the pride in her voice. The pride of a parent, but deservedly so. Gray was no slouch in the brain department, and people tended to forget that about her. Unfortunately, even in modern America, pretty still equaled stupid. If Gray said that the little girl was smart, though, James would believe it.

“They would try and bully her, but she could out talk them all. Everything was always turned around on them...”

James smiled, just a little bit. It sounded like him when he was younger. He’d never been a fighter, but he’d gotten out of fights unscathed. Words were his weapons, and he used them well. Later in life, when he’d had the time and money to train himself to physically fight, he’d chosen Akido, a martial art defined by its ability to redirect an attack, because it suited him. He was a little bit surprised that his daughter would take after him in this, since Gray was so...powerful. Her personality alone would deter most attacks, but she had never been one to back down from a fight. James himself was non-confrontational by nature, but he knew when to stand his ground. Even then, though, he rarely went on the offensive first.

“She was really, so much like you.”

He processed what she’d said for a long while, and they were less than a quarter mile from the coast, and the rocky outcropping where the horizon was docked to an industrial pier. He could hear the seagulls above crying out, and the wind blew gently, bringing the dirty, salty smell of the Houston Gulf coast to them, but he still couldn’t hear the water. He sighed.

“I’m sorry, Gray. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for her. I should’ve been.” he said, softly. “I don’t know what tomorrow has in store for this world, but I know that I won’t make that mistake again. I’ll be here, no matter what, as long as you’ll let me stay. I’m sorry you had to suffer for me to learn this lesson, and...”

He paused, his voice catching in his throat.

“I’m sorry that you lost her.”