Don't go chasin' waterfalls, tag;;Abraham

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * Houston was a beautiful city, even in the midst of all the chaos and destruction. Burning husks of cars, broken windows, and looted buildings were only part of this Texas wasteland. In her forced trek, alone, she was able to find the simplest things to be the most beautiful. For instance, the Water Wall. Nadia never knew anything like this still existed, and even more surprising, there were none of those dead people about. All she could do was appreciate it, and enjoy it. She stepped closer, and stared at the plaque commemorating the wall. "In its three acre setting, 11,000 gallons of water per minute spill over the walls of the 64-foot fountain." She blinked, and stared upwards, wide-eyed. "11,000 gallons of water? 64-feet high? Holy moly." Nadia only wished she had her papa to share it all with. "You would like this, papa," she whispered, shifting her bag to her other shoulder. Man, was it heavy. Then again, she was carrying a lot of food and a lot of supplies...clothes and stuff. Her gun was in her hand, just in case. "I wish...well, I wish I didn't run. I wish I had this gun, and I wish I shot them." Her face grew as stony as the wall in front of her. "I wish I shot them, papa, and I wish I killed them. They had no right. No right to do that to you!" Her papa called her his "jewel", and told her she was a survivor...that she was brave. Running away wasn't brave. Running away was something a coward did. "I'm not going to be a coward anymore," Nadia decided, nodding her head in affirmation. She would never run from anything, or anyone, ever again. "If I see any of those men who hurt you, so help me God, papa, I will kill them." The Nadia from when the world was not chaotic would be disgusted with her wanting to hurt another person. Nowadays, it was either kill, or be killed. Be altruistic, or be selfish. Every man, woman, and child for themselves. Her papa was selfish. He didn't want to give those men his supplies. Yet he was altruistic...he didn't want those men hurting her. No one could be even the slightest bit altruistic anymore, not without getting their supplies stolen, or getting hurt. "I will kill them. That is a promise." She sighed, and turned her back to the wall, sliding down to the ground. Nadia slid the bag off her arm as well, and kept her gun close by. She needed some time to rest before moving on...she did a lot of walking today and her feet were hurting her pretty bad. Plus, what was a more perfect and peaceful place to rest than a man-made waterfall? None better, if you asked her.

tag: ABRAHAM

500 WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

He could’ve confused it as some miniature stadium of some kind based on its behind. Abraham trekked through a peculiar hundred per cent visibility downtown with a half empty bag pack filled with his recent scavenge. It was his first since shacking up with the Adalwolfs, more specifically (temporarily he insisted) on the living room sofa, in a farmhouse out of the city. Lots of green on trees, on grass and a muted one for the walls in his new home, it shouldn’t have bothered him but he was more of warm neutral colour scheme. Abe decided he’d learn to like green if it meant he wouldn’t have to keep one eye open for bandits, mental ward patients and walkers. He mentally slapped himself for looking on the top of his sneakers as he walked.

It’d been a strange, strange day. He could have sworn the last time he passed by here, a few weeks ago there’d been several littering around the area. Abraham was no brute nor an excellent shots but he made up with the running, the hiding and the evading. All of the above had taken to him like a toddler thrown in a pool to learn how to float and he succeeded. He surmised there was, in all of them, a will to survive. “I’d do anything to survive…” It was said more to himself than anyone else. As Abe ventured on, in what Ray’s map summed up as the Upper District, which should have been speckled a bit by businessmen and women zombies with torn suits and dragging their guts, was void of any undead and living thing. “Somebody must’ve cleaned up. The Undead Death Squad! Wonder if I could sign up, bet the chicks dig the badassery as much as the assholery…”

He neared the semblance of a stadium and rounded it to find it was a fountain. He tsked himself, the sound of water should have been a dead giveaway. He instinctively shuffled out of his bag and planted it on the ground. The axe right next to it and he was more than ready to just jump in the fountain like a crazed loon in effort to cool himself down. He was about to do so, mind you, until he picked up on the other person. He faltered. His mind reran of that fateful day. She had long flowing hair, it cascaded as she moved further and further away from them. The two were still on the other man, Abe was at a loss. Meeting the girl here of all places was unexpected, he felt an inkling of shame and then fear. Had the girl cleaned up house?

The question was at the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t. Turning on his heel, he rushed back to the wall where his bag rested and axe rested. He was a coward. He fitted the straps over his shoulders and snapped the bum bag clip together. He pulled his cap over his face. You’re a coward, Abraham. He wanted to run but he couldn’t. Rooted to the spot, he couldn’t look her in the eye just as he couldn’t act on the plea relayed by the dying man’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Nadia.”

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * Nadia always knew to keep an eye out. The minute she let her guard down, something or someone would come along to catch her by surprise, and not the "surprise, you've won five thousand dollars a week for life!" kind of surprise. She also learned to keep an ear out, and thank goodness she did. When the sounds of footsteps came to her ears, she stood and instinctively reached for her gun. Because what if it was a walker? Or a person that wanted to hurt her? It seemed that way, because he had an ax. Remember what you learned in training, in Survivalist Club. "This gun is loaded. I will not hesitate to pull the trigger." Outside, she tried to stay calm. Inside, she felt like she was about to throw up. "Just walk away now." Nadia really hoped that would be the end of it. He stood in front of her, looking down, and then he said something that put her on guard: "I'm sorry, Nadia." "How do you know...how do you know my name?" She still kept the gun trained on him, and then...she recognized him. He...was one of them men who rushed her and her father, for supplies. "Nadia, my little Jewel, run! Run! Get out!" "You." She aimed at his chest, near his heart. "Ublyudok. Bastard." Spitting on the ground, she continued. "You and those other men. You killed my papa. And for what? For some stupid supplies." Tears started to well up in her eyes, blurring her vision and making him seem like a mirage. "I don't care how you know my name, and I don't want to know. I'm not going to be a coward. You killed papa. Now, I'm going to kill you." For some reason, she paused. Yeah, she lied. It was human nature to be curious, especially about something, or someone, you cared about. "Before I do, I want to ask you something. How...how did you know my name? Did papa say something? Before you shot him? Before you took him away from me?" Nadia wanted, desperately, to have an answer. She needed an answer.

tag: ABRAHAM

366 WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

He straightened his baseball cap, holding on the front and back, shimmying it to fill in the void of his silence. He hummed and hawed like some Austrian tourist. He was even ready to hack his back-up plan and pretend he was some tourist on Houston on his way to find his long lost twin. Have you seen this face? Pointing to his own while fostering a mug shot profile fit for a serial killer, Abe shook himself silly from the inside. He nodded slowly before unhooking his hands from his head and up to his sides. She didn’t have to tell him twice, it was more than his intention to sneak away from the fountains and whistle back on his merry way.

But he did not. The thought of the man she’d known as her father was enough to make his stomach churn. He could almost hear his father, as if he rested atop his right shoulder, in the words he muttered under his breath. The curse meant for his ears and all the culmination of consequences wrought by wrong turns. “A broch.” He apologised, addressing it to her by her name. He turned on his heel and faced her, arms up in the air. All she needed to do was say bang and he’d fall flat on the ground if she wished.

His life was in her hands. He wouldn’t even protest if she pulled the trigger on him now. He gulped down on the guilt, flinching as she pointed the gun blank on her heart. This close, her sneer rocked him with shame. Eyes downcast, he would not count the ants that trailed by, he willed himself to listen to every word. He deserved it. “I know. It doesn’t change anything. I’ll always know what I did, what we did to you and your father…what happened after…it would’ve been better if we both died at their hands….”

He clamped his lids shut, heart thundering and galloping against his chest. All it would take was one quick pull and it’d be over. Funny, he thought, the last thing he’d ever done in this world was loot a lingerie store. He waited for a few seconds. She cleared her throat, composed herself. Her mouth pulled thin and tight. How old was she? Sixteen, seventeen? Abraham helped orphan someone’s daughter. “Your father was a good man. He didn’t have to do it, but he did. I’m sorry. There’s not a word in the Earth that can sum up how sorry I am…” It was a roundabout way of answering her question but destroyed by brief, crippled by what he’d seen on that day. It turned his stomach and Abraham didn’t have a clue where to begin.

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * "No. It doesn't change anything. He's gone, and nothing you can say will magically bring him back to life." Nadia was not a coward. But with every breath, her eyes teared more; her hands shook. "I am not a coward. I am not going to be one ever again. I don't want to die by anyone's hands." If anything, this man would die by hers. She would end his miserable life. Today. This man appeared guilty, and sounded sincere in his guilt, but it was fake, It had to be. He wanted to live, much like any other person in this world did, so he was telling her lies to placate her, to keep her from shooting him. It would not work. Survivalist Club training would come through and a well-placed bullet would stop his heart from beating. Then, he had the audacity to say her father was a good man. How dare he? He didn't grow up with her papa, he didn't know how when he hugged Nadia, he held her tight and always figured out when she was upset, so he could hug her a little tighter. She was his jewel, and he was going to throw her a big party for her birthday, after this was all over. "Over", however, never came. It never would come, and she had to face this terrifying and chaotic world alone. All because of food and ammunition and three selfish men. "Nyet, shut up. Just shut up." She gripped the gun so hard, her knuckles turned white with the strain of it. "Stop saying you're sorry. I don't want your apology...you don't mean a single word you say." Her eyes narrowed, the tears finally spilling over and down her cheeks. "You tell me how you know my name. You tell how you knew my name, and what you did to my papa." This man owed her that much. After he told her whatever story he was going to tell her, she'd kill him. A small part of her said to be reasonable...he wasn't trying to hurt her, and that Nadia should only kill to stay alive. The other part was cold, selfish, and unfeeling. Do it. Take him away from those who loved him. Permanently. That'd be about square.

tag: ABRAHAM

400 WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

She ravaged him with her words, cut him down with the truth, with the demons he’d been counting under his cupboards. He nodded his head, scrunching his lip and sighing out loud. Abe resigned himself in her hands. Swallowing down a lump of guilt, he knew he’d find redemption for all the wrongs he’d commit against a man, a father looking out for his child. “I know...” Her fingers twisted around the gun and aimed at him. His mind strayed for his loved ones, some who’ve long gone and mostly of the ones who were trying to make right day by day. He never even got to say goodbye and what he really felt for each and everyone. “I know...”

A broken man he was, he clenched his fists, tensed his body before releasing it in a long drag out of his parted his lips. “I know and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Nadia.” An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and a life for a life. “I know...” Anguish choked up his words. Ivanov, her father, should have been here instead of him. He wasn’t able to look her in the eye, her despair and distraught, he may have not been the one who killed her father but he was still the reason why. Crestfallen heart, there was a blackhole dementing the joys into simple stumps of realisation. Evidences turned into numbers, he carried the weight of a dead man on his conscience.

“You don’t have to believe me, Nadia. I’ve been living with your father’s death in my hands. I’m the reason why he’s not here anymore...” She wanted a confession. He was wrapping the truth out of its fanciful bows and sashes, handing it to her sincere in the nakedness of it all. He dropped his hands to his sides and with another heavy sigh, he flinched at the recall. “Your father told me. Andrei, Andrei Ivanov. He mustered a smile at how they met, orchestrated by two blokes who bonded with their mutual passion for anarchy and violence. They fitted right in when the world came tumbling down. “The two guys I was with, I thought we were just gonna rob you and your dad. Then we’d get out of your way, split the loot and move on...” He licked his lips and pulled his hands over his face.

Memories he wanted left buried under the sand, yanked out from its hiding hole to share the truth and nothing but the truth to a grieving daughter. “But he fought back, the two didn’t like it and, and they...When you ran, they took him to the warehouse. Tied him up proper and they started...I knew I wasn’t gonna be apart of it...I hit one in the head as hard as I could.” He shut his eyes and shot his gaze up in the sky. Hands rested on his hips before pressing circles on his temple. “Last bad guy standing, he didn’t like it, no, not at all. He was gonna shoot me but your dad. He fought back and, and...It was my fault, it was meant for me and he...He got in the way...I’m sorry.”

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * Nadia wanted him to be quiet. She wanted him to stop trying to make himself sound human, because he wasn't. What the hell kind of man just thoughtlessly, callously, took someone's life like he did? Her papa was an innocent. All because he didn't want three men taking their only supplies and hurting her, this man had to shoot her papa, the only person she had left in the entire world? "Stop saying you know. Stop saying you're sorry." She remembered exactly what she was supposed to do...exactly what she wanted to do. Her hands stopped shaking, yet her eyes still remained glossed over. The wounds were still too fresh, too new, for her to get over them, as this world required her to do. This world was unforgiving and cruel; she could no longer be completely kind toward others, completely giving. She needed to look out for herself, ensure her own survival. It meant ending this man's life, to make him pay for what he had done. But first, she wanted answers. "Of course you are the reason he is not here anymore. I am not stupid." She breathed in, out. "Now, you tell me what you did to papa or so help me God..." she'd kill him sooner. That. As his story droned on, she wanted to tell him to go to hell, that she'd send him a postcard when he got there. What changed everything was the minute he put his hands over his face, the minute his voice became so full of brokenness and despair. No one who felt no guilt, no remorse, sounded like that. Nadia, even in her vengeful anger, knew this. "Papa risked his life...for you?" She lowered the gun, not enough to show she trusted him, but enough to show she wasn't going to shoot him. Not yet. "He..." it sounded a lot like something he would do. Though he gained his wealth through good investments and better business sense, he came from a rather humble background and went out of his way to help people he barely knew. Giving to charities, volunteering. It was his way of giving back what he had, because others had none. "Remember this, my Nadia, my little Jewel. We are fortunate. There are many who are not. It is our responsibility to do so. Remember this." Oh papa, why did you do this? You told me to run. I ran. I was a coward. And I ran for what? So you could exchange your life for this...this... Nadia lowered her gun and shook her head. "He...he..." she glared at him. "And who are you, that he would give his life for? Who the hell are you?" She wanted to shout...she wanted to scream. Instead, she settled for a fierce whisper. "You are a nobody. A nobody who shouldn't even be alive right now." The young girl didn't care that this man tried to save her papa. He was alive. Her papa wasn't. Not the fairest of all trades. Not by a long shot.

tag: ABRAHAM

536 WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

“I’m sorry...” Red in the eyes, in his face, in the palm of his hands, it wretched his soul. “I’m sorry.” That was all he could say, a broken line recycled over and over but it would not suffice. Someone died because of him. Seiler was many things, a larcenist, an opportunist, a pain and more but he was not so hardened of heart. The man haunted him in the face of night and day. He couldn’t even look at her without her father coming into his mind’s eye. “I’m sorry, Nadia. I’m...sorry.” Seiler was the reason why this girl grew up without a father, orphaned by circumstance and cowardice. Had he spoken out sooner, had he listened to reason, had he found fault. He presented his palms before her, without thinking, a silent plea of guilt and penance. Seiler sucked the air in his mouth so shakily, he couldn’t trust himself never again.

Lines tensed on his brow, on the sides of his lips. He was only twenty-six years old. Most days Abraham Seiler ran around like he only seventeen, much like her. Death had a way of tainting minds and bleeding souls. Nadia had taken the brunt, he convinced himself that his pain would never equate to the loss of a father, in the hands of man. She was only seventeen. Nadia should’ve been worried about school, about boys, about make-up and whatever girls did in their spare time. She dropped the gun to her side, eyeing him with loathing Abe knew he deserved. He parted lips by a fraction only to close them again. A simple yes would’ve sufficed as an answer, because Ivanov did. But he couldn’t bring himself to voice it. He simply presented a mirthless smile, dropped his arms and folded his hands in front him as he shut his eyes and nodded his head. “I could, I could’ve done something sooner...It didn’t need to end like that. That’s why I’m responsibile. I’m the reason why.”

It would’ve been human to lie and protect himself as she pointed the gun in front of him. He could’ve given her everything she wanted at the drop of the hat, his life was in her hands. However in this particular plight, Abe found his gut stuck on him the right way round and his heart heavy, weighed down the bottom of his bones. “My name is Abraham Seiler, 26 years old. I lost my parents to illness last year, one after the other.” He tried putting on a smile, somewhat uncertain, Nadia may not want to hear it but he continued on. “Since then, I’d been wondering the same thing.” Who was I to be saved. He took a step closer. “That bullet should’ve been for me.” His face contorted tightly, a mirror of his emotions. “I don’t know what he was thinking, who did stuff like that? It should’ve been me, not him. I’m sorry.” He closed the distance between them. Arms on shoulder, he slowly wove them around her and wrapt Nadia in an embrace. Abe did not want forgiveness nor to forget because he owed it this much to the man who saved his life. Irony, he was spared by another life taken away. Whether she shot him, beat him, whatever Nadia wanted, he’d receive.

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * "Stop it!" she finally yelled at him, and put a hand over her mouth to hold in any sobs threatening to escape. Nadia wanted to sink to the ground and just let something, someone end the pain she was feeling. But then if that happened, she would not be brave like her papa always said she was. "Just...stop it. Those are just words. They don't mean anything. They don't." The man could say he was sorry a thousand times over and it would not bring her father back. So he needed to just quit saying it. "Please. Stop." She hated him. She hated him for being alive, she hated him for doing nothing to help protect her father...she hated him for not having a father. "You didn't do something sooner. You probably just stood there. A coward, is what you are." And it's what she was right now, for not pulling the trigger. It was a rather heavy responsibility for a seventeen year old to shoulder, to have the power to either save, or end, a life. Nadia should not have this kind of responsibility. The only responsibility she should have is going to school, making good grades, and finding some way to make Alex notice her. He briefly crossed her mind every now and then...was he alive, how was he doing if he was alive. She shook her head, and blinked. He was holding out his hands, palms out in supplication, and was trying to gain her sympathy. His name was Abraham. He was 26 years old, and he too, was now an orphan in this strange new world. He inched closer, and Nadia wanted to shoot him...but she couldn't. Something, in the seconds between him walking toward her and the look on his face changed her mind. "I..." She didn't get far in her sentence before he enveloped her in an embrace. This shocked her. To each other, they were strangers, and this was a moment of caring, of compassion. Her arms went around his waist, and she buried her face in his shirt. "Oh God...oh Papa..." her cries and her sorrow over the loss of her father soaked into the fabric covering this man's torso. This man, who was willing to comfort a complete stranger.

tag: ABRAHAM

LOT OF WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

Abraham frowned. Head downcast. Eyes screwed shut. She heard him. Nadia heard him but she did not want to listen. He understood that, had their roles been reversed: Nadia with the guilt of a survivor, Abraham as the son whose parents were robbed of their time, he wouldn’t have hesitated. His finger coiled around the trigger, he’d pull and then it was over. Did he want it to be over. Yes and at the moment, heaven was looking down on him under the barrel of a gun. There were many ifs, many whys but scarce a few hereafters. He hated himself for taking without thought. His father would be so ashamed and Abraham would not fight him on the matter. Same as how he accepted her brand, words seared on his skin.

COWARD.

She was right. He did not bother relaying what happened after. In the end, he was at fault. Abraham should’ve died that day in the warehouse and by some inexplicably reason, the big guy in the sky, the master of all universe wrote his end was not to be met by a bullet with his name on it. He wove his arms around her and drew her near. She held on to him. A wetness spreading across his shirt, Nadia cried. He lifted his head up high, running his hand over her head. “Shhhh...Shhhh…” It’s okay. “Shhhhh…” In short hushing breaths, Abraham tightened his hold. It was difficult to swallow. His eyes hurt, failing in his furious attempt of blinking away the tears. It kept coming. The blood of her dead father was in his hands. He did not know what he was thinking but felt a strong impression. “I’m here.” In the middle of downtown Houston, Abraham felt accountable and for once in his life, he seemed fit to take on the responsibility. “I’m not leaving you alone, Nadia. You’ll never be alone. Never.”

Abraham wished to tell her everything would be okay but he took no assurance in that. It was a lie no matter how he traipsed in a tutu around it. If he didn’t believe it, how could he have convinced someone otherwise. His breathing shaky, he could not give her what she wanted. What he could give her was difficult to be the next best thing or if it ever deserved to be called okay, Isaiah knew it would fall on him. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, I promised and a real man keeps his promise.” Heartwrenching was the sight, of a young boy trapped inside a man offering comfort to the woman hidden inside a young girl.

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * At this moment, she was not tough. She was not the teenager who knew all sorts of tricks about how to survive. She was the broken little girl who was completely lost and alone, who was drowning in the river of her tears. This man, this Abraham, was willing to throw her a life preserver. It was definitely more than she expected from a man who pretty much helped murder her father. He was offering her soft, whispered hushes, and a hand smoothed over her hair. He was here, whether she wanted him to be or not. “I’m not leaving you alone, Nadia. You’ll never be alone. Never." "What?" Nadia pulled away from him and wiped at her red, bloodshot eyes with her gunless hand. "What do you mean by that?" He spoke of a promise, and how a real man kept his promises. He was here, and he was not going anywhere. "You think that you can replace him? That by giving my papa a promise it will make everything okay and all better?" She glared at him, tearstained corneas admant in their disapproval. "It won't be okay. It will never be better." God, why was he so stupid? "I release you from whatever stupid promise you gave to my papa," she said, waving her hand in dismissal. "You did not mean it; you only mean it because you feel guilty, and because you want to look remorseful in front of me." Nadia put the safety back on her gun. "You don't mean it, and nothing you can promise, do, or say will ever make what you did go away." John F. Kennedy said to forgive, but to never forget. Gandhi mentioned that forgiveness was an attribute of the strong. Then again, they never lost someone they loved. She was never going to forgive this man. Never. No matter how much not forgiving someone poisoned your blood, no matter how much being an unforgivable person shaped your personality. To the young girl, some things were absolutely unforgivable. "So, Abraham, just go." She slunk down to the ground. "Please. If you want to make me happy, you will go now." Yes, Nadia was asking him to leave her, in downtown Houston, by herself. She was asking him to pick up his belongings, turn, and never look back. To forget her, and to forget his false promises. It would be much easier for her that way.

tag: ABRAHAM

431 WORDS

outfit

kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

Being human was a curious wonder, the mind, in its utmost potential, learnt to adapt by snapping from prior similar experiences as a basis of happenings to come. The death of Ivanov was not the first Abraham witnessed. At seven, he saw the pair of lovebirds on the floor of their cage. It was a strange sight for the child especially when he swore with their wings stretched out to touch one another in their final breath. He shed tears when Dumbledore died. On his father’s deathbed and his mother’s a few months after, Abe wailed like a banshee behind closed doors, turning tables over and threatening smug faces with his baseball bat. He fell twice in the dark but much like it said in the Bible: there were troubles and it came to pass. At first, Abe simply nodded his head in agreement. His father always pulled the Bible out as frequently as he sermoned with the Tanakh. They were unorthodox to an extent in Judaism merged with Christianity. Religion was never Abe’s forte but his parents believed so strongly, he took comfort in their faith.

“Abraham, mayn beyokhed, my only son. Alts, always remember, trust, honesty and personal integrity are foundations...Your foundations.” His final words were forever tattooed inside his mind. “I don’t if I was good enough a father, I could never keep you out of trouble. Ever since you and that Adalwolf boy, ayayay...There will tsures, there will be troubles, count on it, Abraham. But like unto our predecessors, it too shall come to pass.” His father passed on but his words would stay with his son forever. The troubles would come but they pass. It took him a while to understand what his father tried to explain, he meant the troubles did not stay.

Abraham followed Nadia on every word she said. He knew what it was like to lose someone. On varying degrees, the affections he felt for their lovebirds, Albus Dumbledore and his parents were true and sincere. “I’m not trying to replace anyone.” Andrei’s shoes were too big to fit in. “I don’t want you to be alone. Nobody deserves to feel alone, to be alone.” Nobody could fill his shoes just the same as how his mother felt when the love of her life went ahead before but Abraham would not budge. He raised his hands up to emit the words that failed to come out of his mouth. Sighing in reluctance, Abe turned on his heel and slung the bag over his shoulders only to step back in his place.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he gripped the straps of his backpack and refused to let old habits take what was left of his honour. The sun shined high at noon as the waters from the fountain remained a dull hum. Abraham did not leave as Nadia asked. His face crumbled at his father’s final words: “A man’s word is his bond.” He sank on his knees, levelling his gaze with hers. “Please, I’ve been somebody whose made a game of promises, breaking them when it got hard or when it got boring...” He wove his hands on hers. He was never numb to death, if anything it affirmed life and his will to live just another day. “Nadia, you may not need me but I need you. I need to help you. Please let me help.”

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * "You are. You're trying to replace him!" She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You think that you can. Well you can't. You can't. My papa was a good man. A kind man." More tears slipped out of her eyes and cut through the dirt and grime on her cheeks. She hated it. She hated looking weak and fragile in front of anyone. "He was all I had. I never knew my mama; she stayed behind in Russia. My papa brought me over here when I was just a baby. It was him and me. He was my papa. He was all I had, and you helped take him from me!" Family ties were very important...especially now. To have comfort in the familiar, rather than in the unfamiliar, the scary, and the strange. After she ran, like her papa told her to, she found a place to sleep that night, some abandoned building, and she cried. She cried for him, she cried because he was taken from her...she cried because she was alone, and there was nothing she could do about it. He was offering to stay with her...in her mind, he was trying to replace him. Her papa. "Go. Please." She didn't want him here. Nadia knew that even if he wanted to help, he would get tired of her and leave her. Alone. No matter what he said. She stared at his back as he started to walk away. Good. She wanted to see him leave, to get smaller and smaller until the horizon swallowed him up and put him out of sight, and out of mind, for good. But it didn't work out that way. Abraham stopped, midstride, and walked over to her, sinking to his knees in supplication. "No, don't...I..." she felt the warmth of his hands on hers. Nadia couldn't look at him. She couldn't. He wasn't going to go away. For some reason, he needed to keep his promise. He needed to help her. Why, she didn't know. "Abraham, can you bring my papa back from the dead?" she challenged, staring at him. "Are you God? Are you His son?" The young girl shook her head. "No. That is the only way you can help me." The tears came again and she rested the expanse of her forehead on his shoulder. "Unless you can think of some other way." The young girl hated the sound of her own voice. She was lost, she was heartbroken, and she doubted anyone could help her. Even him.

tag: ABRAHAM

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kate @ atf

[ABRAHAM SEILER]

Every contortion of her mouth gave in depth to the angry lines in the skin between her brows, the complete disdain on the wrinkles on her nose and the disgust curling the corners of her lips. Heavy heart ransomed by the living consequence shaped. For a while he reasoned with himself, it was an opportunity where his regret traced the line to the very conception of his existence. Handing his trust over to the wrong people, Abraham crossed his being over to making his wrong into a right.

“I don’t…I don’t know what the right thing is…” Natural born charmer stunted by the grip of death and the sorrow of an orphan, stripped and stripped bare. He wanted to laugh bitterly and wail incorrigibly, but he did neither. Solely concentrating on the sound of air whooshing into the back of his nostrils, Abraham counted his sins and named them one by one. She would never forgive him, he’d been bracing himself with thoughts, what he would do if they ever met again. Forgiveness was not an option, loneliness was a choice Abraham knew too well. He did not want that for her.

WHO ARE YOU. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU.

He stiffened. Neither God nor Christ, he was but a man, his father’s son who wanted to do his family proud. Abraham chased through storms, bowing his head, squinting his eyes, he took a large gulp of air. “I can’t, I don’t know how…” Abraham hadn’t realised he held his breath. God, if you’re watching us now, listening, tell me how, tell me how to bring a dead man back to life… Dirt clods for eyes, they expanded with verve. He held her by her shoulders, his grip was a gentle firmness. He bore his eyes into her soul and made no jest of the words epiphanied out of the stream of sunshine. “Come with me, Nadia. My friends and I are living on a farmhouse outside of Houston. We have space, chickens and a reinforced home with ugly but bearable green walls…”

Abraham was taking their shuffle, one step at a time. His suggestion was sincere and shaved right off from the froth of his mind. “This is the last thing you want, I know this cos if I was in your shoes, I wouldn’t’ve batted a lash…but what I’m trying to say is: I can’t take back what happened,” he flinched recalling the sound of the shot, the smell of gunpowder in the air and the sight of blood. Abraham knew he would never be forgiven, he would never deserve her forgiveness. Never but he was not going to stop being there. “I want to do right by you and your tomorrows.”

[NADIA IVANOV]

you make my dreams * * * * * Of course he didn't know what the right thing was. How would a murderer, only playing nice because he felt like he had to, know what the right thing was? "You...you..." she shook her head. "Never mind." "If you don't know how, then I don't know why you are offering." Her head came up off his shoulder when he forced it, and he stared at her in a way that was a little unnerving. "What? You...you want me to come with you?" He was offering her sanctuary; he was offering her shelter. And he was trying to present it in the most attractive manner possible. It was a place that was safe. But to shack up with the man who killed her father, pretty much? Would her papa think less of her for doing so? Even Christ said to love one another. Come with him. Nadia sighed. He really wasn't making this easy on her. "I...I am not your responsibility, Abraham. I don't know what you think...I cried onto your shirt, you patted my hair, and now you are trying to replace my papa." He was one-third of the reason Andrei, her papa, was gone. She would carry this grudge, this nugget of bitterness, around for the rest of what time remained for her on Earth. "You do not have to do right by me." She sniffled, and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I am not going with you. I would rather take my chances out there by myself than to stay with someone who...who..." Nadia did not need to finish her sentence. He knew. "So..." she scooted a ways back from him and held up the gun. "I want you to go. Go away, don't look back, and leave me alone. Or on my papa's name, I will shoot you."

tag: ABRAHAM

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kate @ atf