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 March 2008 Entry (Runner-up), How to lose everything, including you.
nathan_p
Posted: Mar 31 2008, 07:45 PM


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Group: Members
Posts: 7
Member No.: 5
Joined: 1-February 08



Well. I finished on time this time, and I hope I'm doing this right by posting now. Essentially, it's a moody sort of meditation: the narrator was unlucky enough to lose his wife and daughters, even himself to, more or less, chance. Unusually choppy writing style for me, and I hope it conveys the emotional sense well. May possibly reflect terrible things upon me. I swear I didn't do it.

How to Lose Everything (Including Yourself)

Everything is lost.

He canít remember their names, not even their faces. (Except Marie. Whom he still wonders about.) All that remains is righting the wrongs. Correction.

It used to be for them. When he had a different name. (Or was that the other?) Everything he did. For them. Only for them. Always for them. Bringing them back. (That was the other. He thinks. Heís not quite sure. It may have been him.) To see her smile again. Perhaps to dance.

He canít remember how many years. It used to be he knew it to the hour. That he would stay home on the dreadful anniversary. All that remains is a count of deaths. How many have died. How many must die.

He remembers the lost days. Forgetting he was alive. Trying to remember what she was like. Her laughter in the dark. Always in the dark. Because the other was there.

He barely remembers the other. Delicate. Fragile. Part of him, once. Destroyed now. They wore the same hands, but his were thin and worn. These are the same hands. Now they are scarred and tough. He remembers the other was a chemist. Something like that. What he is now does not have a name. This morning he was a savior. Tonight a man with a knife may decide heís a devil.

He remembers that coming home early made the other nervous. Because he was always afraid theyíd be dead again. Always afraid of the blonde girl with blood in her hair. Always afraid of the wife, still and silent with blood spilling down over her pale skin. Afraid of finding Marie if he goes back.

They would be bones by now. Itís been so long. Girlsí bones. The other didnít even remember if there was a funeral. Perhaps theyíre still in the house. Skeletons in pretty blue dresses, with tangles of hair still attached to their skulls. They smiled for him.

He does not know if this is typical, exactly. Not all people lose their wives. Not all people lose Marie. And hardly anybody corrects the wrongs.

There is something in the boy Williamís eyes that reminds him of Marie. Even though his eyes are lighter than hers. Even though thereís a streak of white in his hair. Something is there. It bothers him sometimes.

But there is always work to do. What worth is the past, with a future like this?

----

Hey, if this needs to be moved, go ahead.
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AEP: Master Creator
Posted: Mar 31 2008, 10:56 PM


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Group: Admin
Posts: 120
Member No.: 1
Joined: 16-January 08



You finished on time last time too, if memory serves.

You even put the topic in the right place!!! Awesome job with this, BTW.

It did seem rather choppy, but I guess that's all you can do for this kind of thing.

Challenge goes up later on the first!

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--------------------
Welcome to the Writers' Challenge! Step right this way into a world of creativity and good wholesome authorship!

I'm your host, the wonderful AEP. Now let's begin!

March 2008 Winner, April 2008 Winner, May/June 2008 Winner, September 2008 Winner, December 2011 Winner
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AEP: Master Creator
Posted: Jun 2 2008, 10:39 AM


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Group: Admin
Posts: 120
Member No.: 1
Joined: 16-January 08



Pinned because we can't let the story die just because it's not important anymore.

So, without further ado...

Topic pinned. cool.gif

AEPMC wink.gif biggrin.gif tongue.gif cool.gif smile.gif


--------------------
Welcome to the Writers' Challenge! Step right this way into a world of creativity and good wholesome authorship!

I'm your host, the wonderful AEP. Now let's begin!

March 2008 Winner, April 2008 Winner, May/June 2008 Winner, September 2008 Winner, December 2011 Winner
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