10,000 Posts, lets start again..

[Ida]

It looks slightly big, yes. But it's gorgeous!

[Nok]

It is really nice! ^^
What does your family think about this? If they do know.

Oh girls! I had quite a fit last night. I had been feeling a little down lately, and yesterday night I went to bed and I started crying and I couldn't calm down. I was starting to get scared I was falling into depression or something. I got up at 12 and went to wake up my father. We spoke for about an hour and a half. He helped me calm down. And told me I should see a shrink. I had been thinking abotu it for a while but never got round to it and I always felt better afterwards.
Anyways I called this morning but it was voicemail, I guess she'll call back.
I'm having a hard time. It's like I have all these questions and decisions I need to take. And all my usual surroundings is different or failed.. so it's tough because I have nothing to lean on.
Well i am better today except that I am so tired!

[Andy]

I didnt notice how HUGE it looks in that picture but its actually pretty small irl but its so prefect I love it to bits. Sam said we could get change the diamond out for a bigger one later but I refuse. Thats the diamond that he used to ask me to marry him and thats the diamond thats going to stay on my finger until I keel over and die or I lose it. Whichever comes first. Except dont tell that to Sam because he'll have a heart attack. He already had one when my ring fell off my finger and into my purse. INTO MY PURSE. God forbid the ring touch the carpet because he'll have an ass-mar attack.

As for my family's reactions, Emi burst into tears, my mom cried too, and my dad sulked a bit because no one asked him. And Peter, good lord, Peter. He didnt answer his phone but he did get the picture I sent everyone. His response was "Whats that for?" "Its an engagment ring dodo" "And whats that for?".

God brothers are so dumb. IDK what Le Pew and James thought because i didnt have their numbers so my dad called them.

My bestie goes to a shrink. IDk if it has done her any good because she doesnt talk about it much but oh my god, you dont know how good it feels to unload on stranger (thats what she said, lol) When I got sick last year and had to drop my classes, it was such a relief to cry my eyeballs out in front of the advisers instead of holding it in.

[Nok]

Yes I think it's the main purpose. Cause when you speak to friend or family, they are concerned more or less directly so you sort of hold yourself.
Also I wish she would tell me what to do but I guess they don't do that. But she can help control my humors. I mostly want to be more stable, I really feel like I'm a roller-coaster.

[Andy]

When you go, do you think you can take my mother with you?

She has been driving me NUTS since she found out I was moving to Minnesota. I was planning on telling her but not last night while my family was watching tv. Now she just comes up to me all the time and cries about how much she will miss me and she doesnt stop until I'm crying too. FUCK THAT NOISE.

I finally blew up at her when she was like "PROMISE ME THAT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME, YOU'LL TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAD". FFS woman. I dont know if she is trying to manipulate me or what so I dont go. Either way its pissing me off and I'm not going to spend the next 10 or so months crying everyday.

And to top if off, the way she goes on and on about missing me is making Peter and Emi feel like shit because now they feel like my mom only cares about me leaving when they'll still be around.

She is SMOTHERING me. I go to my room, she follows. I sit on the couch with my laptop and she sits right next to me, lays her head on my arms and puts my left hand in a deathgrip so I cant move around or enjoy my favorite sites without worrying if she's going to see something and be offended by it. Did I mention that I HATE HATE HATE when people look over my shoulder?

I know she's going to miss me but god damn stop with the smothering!

[Nok]

I think she'll come around to it. Try to show her you take this seriously and are preparing well. And tell her you are not abandonning her. You are just moving out, which had to happen one day.

Oh and you siblings should not feel bad, she'll probably be the same when their turn comes up. I guess it's always hard for a mom to realise her kids are big and are leaving the house.

She'll come around.

Well I have an appointment for saturday morning with the shrink.

[Andy]

Good look with your appointment!

Sam sat down with my parents and they talked about everything. Or rather my mom sat at talked (and cried) while my dad sat there ackwardly and got up every now and then to tell me the "chisme"

But Sam said it went well. Thank you baby jesus.

In other news, Erik asked to play the wedding march. I was planning on asking him to do that anyway but it was nice of him.

The only probably is I hate the wedding march. I'm going to ask him if he can learn to play "The Engine Driver". Its mine and Sam's favorite song. Maybe he can start with the beginning of the march and then switch over to the Engine Driver.

And we decided that during the bouquet toss, we're playing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

And we're having some problems with the first dance song but we think this version of Alexandre Pires' Amame with Kelly Clarkson might be it (what was she doing at the Latin Grammy Awards? Is she a secret Latina?) because its half spanish/half english just like us. I think that is a nice touch.

I'm going to run it by my parents to see what they think.

This post has been edited by Andy on Nov 27 2009, 07:32 AM

[Nok]

Okay so you have wedding plans soon too? I wasn't sure if you wanted to get married now or just engaged for the moment. When would that be?

So I saw my shrink this morning. Of course I cried hehe. But it was allright and she seems cool. And I was afraid she'd say well you seem allright, time will fix things bye bye! I'm seeing her again next week. So that's nice.

[Andy]

We've decided on late September/early October of next year. The exact date hasnt been decided on but thats the general time frame. We've (and by we I mean I) have decided to go for a ~*~classy~*~*~ peacock theme. I was going to go for just plain turquoise, silver and white but the colors didnt really go with an autumn wedding so I'm going for jewel tones instead. I'm pretty much aiming for various tones of blue, green and purple.

My family has already started collecting stuff for the wedding. Kmart had giant rolls of turquoise ribbon in the Christmas section and since it was buy one get one 50% off I bought every one they had. I also bought one of these little guys. Why? I dont know. I just thought he was cute.

I also bought a bag of coffee filters because I saw someone on Crafter had made a bunch of super pretty roses using them. I'm super busy this week since I have 2 presentations, my research paper to finish and research proposal to start (and finish) but I figure can make a couple of trial ones next weekend for kicks.

[Nok]

Oh that's so exciting! I love a peacock theme!

Can't wait to see pictures of everything!