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Chains Of Element > Solo Stories > I'm lost


Title: I'm lost
Description: My first song


Kyuubi - November 25, 2007 09:25 PM (GMT)
Running,
I'm running away from what I fear...
running away from what I hate...
running away from what I know oh...
help me I'm lost

(chorus)
I may be deaf but I can still hear my heart beat
I am not mute but still no one hears my cry
I may be blind but I still see...that I am lost

Someone...
someone please save me I made...
a big mistake and I need...
someone to show me the way...
help me I'm lost
(chorus)

Thank you...
for always helping i will...
always remember you because...
you are my savior...
Jesus Christ


First song ever thats why its not very good...

Lyn - November 26, 2007 03:35 AM (GMT)
what kind of music were you thinking of to go w/ it? (just so i can understand it better)

i would put a few "catch" parts in it (like a bit of ryhming similiarities) but otherwise thats good... :)

Howl - November 26, 2007 04:49 PM (GMT)
Thanks.


and yeah i thought that it needed to rhyme too...<_<


My next song does rhyme... ^_^


its just kinda like a slow song... :mellow:

The Boss - November 27, 2007 09:10 PM (GMT)
I don't really like it, too many cliche lines.

That's based solely on the lyrics, it could be amazing when you put it to music.

Howl - November 28, 2007 12:31 AM (GMT)
Thanks :)


OMG I IS ON THE WII :mellow:

eternalwasabi - November 29, 2007 03:04 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Howl @ Nov 27 2007, 07:31 PM)
Thanks :)


OMG I IS ON THE WII :mellow:

that's actually really good for a first try. but i do agree with lyn, you do need a stronger hook (the part that really sticks in your head, usually in the chorus).

User Name - July 22, 2008 05:45 PM (GMT)
WOAh THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!
i just cant put into words how awesome it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Howl - July 22, 2008 05:47 PM (GMT)
Thank you
i try




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