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This is the city of Ankh-Morpork, a bustling metropolis that's more surprising than you'd believe possible...

We are set in the slightly steampunkish 'verse of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. You do not need to have read all of the books (even the movies are fine!) or indeed know anything about the series, although if you are new to it the Guides are recommended!

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 Lessons in Women (Endivia/Dyson)
Dyson Wintersquash
Posted: Feb 26 2012, 03:06 AM

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Posts: 166
Member No.: 14
Joined: 5-October 11

He was definitely getting better at finding his way through the city.

This time it had only taken six sets of bad directions (though he might have just misunderstood what they said, but six seemed too high a coincidence for him to have missed ALL of them. In any case, now he had found himself to a set of shops by the last set and by poking his head in each he had rapidly managed to learn what they were for. Or well, more what they were not. He doubted the three dwarfs in a wrestling match, the room filled with old furniture stacked high, or the six-dozen cages all covered with blankets were herbal specialists. The odds were against him there.

However this last one smells of lemon and lavender and that seemed just right! Unless it was soap. The last time he had brought soap into his part of the dorm he had gotten in a lot of hot water. Literally, as first some of the students had dumped in a tub and then forced him to eat the whole bar. Wizards and baths were a sore subject at the moment apparently. For Dyson who was used to being in and out of streams and ponds everyday it felt wrong to be so.... well, dirty. He had managed a tactic of cleaning everything except his hands and neck and face which seemed to work well with the other students.

Okay sometimes, like yesterday, he forgot and did everything, but he got teased about it for weeks afterwards.

He awaited his turn behind a little lady with a big carpet bag who was getting an assortment of packages, each wrapped by itself which she kept adding to the ominous bag which clinked. When she had paid and left, Dyson stepped up nervously and placed his order. "Um, good afternoon. I need three pinecones, four pickled Golden Disagreeables, and do you have any leaves and twigs? What kinds, please?" The owner, a rather prune faced man whose voice sounded slightly like gravel in a sieve, named off a few trees (having dealt with a wizard's odd list of items before) and Dyson asked for several of each wrapped in different packages. While he stood there waiting for his order to be assembled, his face took on a look of a sudden thought.

Forgetting to look and see if anyone else had entered behind him (since the door was open) he leaned forward and said clearly "Um, excuse me, do you have anything which repels young women? Without, like, irritating everyone else in the process?" - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you

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