CJF Network Covenant, All must sign this.

I, __________, declare myself to be a proud citizen of the CJMErl and Friends Network!

Signed this __________ day of ___________ in the year of our Lord _________:


_____________
(Signature)


_____________
(witness)

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By signing this legally binding document, I agree to the terms, conditions, restrictions, and laws governing the CJF Network, and solemnly swear to defend its principles and borders, to the death if neccessary. I promise to devoutly obey the CJF Network Code of Conduct, and understand that failure to do so will result in an appropriate punishment, including but not limited to fines, expulsion, imprisonment, or -- in sever cases -- death by exposure.

I acknowledge that I am acting under my own power in signing this document, and that Should any future disagreements arise between myself and the CJF Network, I waive my rights to silence, an attorney, a trial, and a bed in my prison cell. My membership in the CJF Network hereby cancels any existing citizenships that I might currently possess, and I agree that if asked, I will gladly tear my current passport into hundreds of pieces on national television, setting the flag of my former country on fire and swearing colorful oaths in an exotic language of the Network's choosing.

For referance, the CJF Network Code of Conduct is as follows: 1) If you pass a CJF Network Elder on the street, do not make eye contact. Avert your gaze and cross to the other side of the streeet; 2) If you don't know what an Elder is, don't ask, you'll find out; 3) Bears are to be killed on sight, using a rifle or crossbow is fine, but bonus points shall be awarded for using your bare hands (no pun intended); and 4) always rewind your rented videotapes. It's just common courtesy.

I understand that all of my writings, discoveries, inventions, and ideas are property of the CJF Network, even if what the Network decides to do with my inventions is put them in a large pile next to other people's inventions and set the pile on fire, for heat. This provision shall supersede all existing contracts that I am bound to by current employers, and apply in perpetuity, for all time, in the known universe. Even if I am a theoretical physicist who, through some ingenious act of expermental derring-do, posts a loophole in the known universe that leads to the discovery of a previously unknown universe, I acknowledge that by definition, the new universe is now part of the known universe and so it's not like I can just hide all of my inventions in there.

Still, I recognize that the CJF Network isn't just about rules and regulations and punishments. I acknowledge that the privledges of citezenship in the CJF Network are wondrous and manifold, in fact, they are so manifold that there are simply too many to list in this legally binding document! Suffice it to say that there are literally thousands of perks and benefits, and you'll just have to trust us on that. Here's a little taste: Privilege number 302 is unlimited passage across CJF Network borders! Can't beat THAT with a stick.

This paragraph contains nothing substantive, so you may feel free to skip it and continue to the next paragraph. Now that that's out of the way: I hereby grant the CJF Network full authority to undertake whatever actions they see to be neccessary and proper to the continued success of the Network, entirely at their discretion and without having to consult any elitist "experts" on the issue at hand. I further understand that the language of this contract may be changed at any time, and that rules may be added without my consent or anyone even telling me. Right now, you could be writing a new item in the Code of Conduct that forbids pants. Fine by me.

That's pretty much it. Congratulations and welcome -- let's have some fun out there!

Ha! I found a Typo!

"otehr"

It made me Lul a little. I'm not sure why.

You type a block of text like that and not make mistakes.

I use spell-checkers :P



Also, I would fill it out, But I'm a total Tard and I can't figure the second line out.


...


...


*Runs Away*

This post has been edited by Slyrus on Sep 1 2006, 02:52 AM

Please, don't fill it out, or attempt to.. I don't need to be held responsible for everyone's inventions.

It's "CJMErl AND Friends", Laz.

Also, freaking HILARIOUS. This should go in an IMPORTANT place.

In fact...

*THREAD SHIFTER*

This post has been edited by CJMErl on Sep 1 2006, 09:58 AM

CJMErl and Friends Network sounds weird... CJMErl Friends Network is a bit easier on my tongue. However, I do not believe this should go in an important place... it's just a cp of the Colbert Nation Covenant.

But it's too damn FUNNY! And it's related to the site and stuff.

I should make one of these kind of things for OtBt, to use with McQuarrie.

If I had a hammer, I'd hit you with it Laz. :P

oh, the places you could go with that sentence.

*Sign'd*

*necro'd*

Some humor spans the test of time, Argus. This was worth necro'ing.

Also pinned.