VICTOR ZSASZ | zsasz, HUMAN | ben foster

[VICTOR ZSASZ]

VICTOR ZSASZ 33 • Blight • Unemployed • Ben Foster I'm creeping through the smoke I face the pounding rain I'm walking trough an empty hall of pain I'm loosing all my pride I'm going down the drain the world is just a droning hall of pain you throw my dignity into some pure cocain you kiss my blood, I'm going down the drain you throw my dignity wrapped up in cellophane into your blood into your hell of pain you fill my eyes with tar I think I've gone insane you place a thousand nightmares in my brain you fed my mind with hate you made me profane you made me want to cause somebody pain the world is just a droning hall of pain...

“	UNLIKE YOU, I CHOOSE TO KILL.

Have I ever told you the story of Victor Zsasz? I am sure you have read my file; Mr. Sharp. But typed text does not hold the feelings of spoken word. I wouldn’t expect you to comprehend such an opinion however, you spend every waking minute reading it. Thinking you know every step of their insignificant lives from the motionless words of ink the doctors believe you important enough to grace. Where shall we begin. My picture perfect home life? I assume such is different than what you would expect. My family was completely endearing! Politicians; doctors and even a few rocket scientists, how could the Zsasz name have sinked so very far? They were nice people, unlike the sheep you see on your wretched television every single night. No! They had good intentions, believe me. Gotham would have been changed for the better; we wouldn’t have to be dealing with demons and werewolves now would we? Such a shame my dear old friend, such a shame. I grew just as my fair daddy did; good looking as ever with a smile of daggers. I was the golden child, can you believe that? I hope for your well being; you can. Because I don’t like being called a liar. Do you know why? Because it makes me seem worse than I am, like the Joker or something. When I was older? I was a genius! A freaking genius. Between the private schools and universities? I could have even taken your job; if it wasn’t so low on the list. I got everything I could have ever wanted! The best part? It only took a few tears. Now, my my, a tear couldn’t get the likes of Killer Moth off your back. I wasn’t meant for this! I had so many friends, they all loved me. I was the life of the parties and the one always making the jokes. Those little piggies even laughed back then! As far as the pathetic little city of Gotham was concerned, I passed even the highest of expectations with flying colors. My own future was in MY hands for once! That’s one feeling I haven’t had in a long, long, time. Because I’ve been stuck in this cell! So perfect.

Do you know why? Because I’ve been stuck in this asylum! Don’t leave, it get’s better; I promise! The lesson of the day is that every shiny, delicate apple will go BAD. Right before your nearsighted puny eyes. My mommy and daddy had a ton of vehicles; boats and cars and jets too, oh yes, the jets. It was just the hundredth boat ride of my twenty five year old life, that’s right, I was twenty five. Out of school and running my own business! I know; impressive, right? All it took was an itty bitty business degree from Gotham U! Shows how much education one needs to run a business, am I right? Of course I am. It was going strong, with support from those dear parents of mine. But all it took was one small little boat crash to end EVERYTHING. Doesn’t it sound a little; funny? Two highly educated people crash a boat that they had driven numerous times? You’re the psychologist. I think it was the demons, my demons. They do many funny things, don’t they? Kill my parents; strip me of the little money I still had and oh right, leave me in this cell, talking to you! No offense, of course. This all lead to a deep, unhappy place. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? When all you want is something to smile about, something to invoke laughter; laughter is good. I began to gamble, I’d like to say smartly. But you must understand, you must have had those moments Mr. Sharp. Moments where you don’t care about the effects a simple hobby may have. In turned me inside out! I couldn’t use the art of deception like these criminals! Couldn’t lie to my fellow citizens. But Penguin could, oh yes, Mr. Cobblepot even enjoyed it. Enjoyed taking a mans business, his house, his possessions. Do you know how that made me feel? How odd it was to finally feel something in my cold, depleted heart. Defeat. I no longer had a purpose in life, I no longer had a reason to live. A reason to watch men who have never come close to my IQ, prosper in this underworld of crime and poverty. There had only been one way out for a man such as myself: suicide. I wish I could describe the feeling, of knife on flesh. Ah, yes.

A shot of adrenaline rushed through me as I was about to slide the blade across my neck, I was going to die. On the sidewalk, in sight of many, ignorant sheep. But there was one man who stopped me, who came in the way of my destiny. An old man, homeless; like me. He wanted food and money, he recognized me from my old days. It was not shocking to learn that he had no idea of my recent disfortune. I began to explain but he was not interested, there was only one thing to do. Stop him from these sad days of rejection, and give him the feeling I was so ready to experience. I stabbed him; again and again. The blade slid through the flesh smoothly, and while I liberated such a hopeless man, I came to understand that it wasn’t about self inflicting pain. It was about pain; in general. Watching, observing as it waves over the victims face. No man, no villain and no police officer could steal that from me. But that’s when the story ends my friend. You know the rest, you can see it on my body. But before you slam me behind those steel bars again, those unforgiving bars, I give one more answer. Am I insane? I shall ask you the same question. What makes a man insane? Is it when he see’s red wherever he goes? Is it when he can still find reasons to smile in such a gloomy environment? Or is it when he tries to spread the knowledge of true pain? Is that such a bad thing, is that why I’m here. I won’t apologize. Because even if whatever is in this folders call me a psychopath? A brooding sadist? I know I have done my job. Now, you are free.

hypnos • fifteen • pacific • none (yet)

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[the BARD !]

congratulations and welcome! your application has been accepted to AT DAWN WE SLEEP ! please remember to swing by the FACE CLAIM and WHO'S WHO list. don't forget to post a SHIPPER, either, so you can get in on the fun even faster !

WOOO...I THINK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH THROUGH THAT ENTIRE APPLICATION! TRULY CHILLING STUFF THERE. I FELT A LITTLE BIT LIKE CLARICE TALKING TO HANNIBAL LECTOR THROUGH THE PLEXIGLASS, THERE. THE LAMBS WERE SCREAMING... VERY GRIPPING STUFF, THAT. I KNOW THERE WERE A FEW SMALL TYPOS HERE AND THERE, BUT I WOULD HAVE TO GO BACK TO HUNT FOR THEM, BECAUSE I WAS MUCH TOO ENTHRALLED BY THE STYLE AND SUBJECT MATTER TO TAKE SERIOUS NOTE OF ANY FLAWS. BELIEVE ME, ZSASZ IS SO IN.