just a story, a story I made while freewriting

[Haimerej]

I am Andrew Stevens. I was just an ordinary boy that was going his way through life until that fateful day. I was walking home from school when I saw it: the pixie. There was a shimmer in the air where the wings were beating, and the body was facing away from me, I couldn't tell exactly what it was doing. At first, I didn't realize what I saw, but when it moved I realized what it was. It felt almost surreal, as if it were a dream. It was hovering about 5 feet in the air a few feet off the road. I moved closer to get a better look. I stepped off the sidewalk and onto the wild grass. It was a beautiful creature, and elegant in its own way. Even though it was only a few inches long, I could almost see every detail about it. I It was then that I realized I had gotten too close, because it turned around, saw me, and immediately flew away.

I'm writing this in the vain hope that somebody, anybody, out there will believe me when I say that I truly saw it. Also, because my psychologist told me to write about the circumstances. Unfortunately, no one I've told the story thus far believes it. Although, the psychologist seems to be unable to refute the fact that I actually believe I saw it. And that gives me hope.



Well, that's it. Some concrit would be nice.

[Kyo_Sohma]

It sounds good, but...you should describe or elaborate abit more upon this. If I were to vote 1-10 now...I'd give it a five. If you were to elaborate and add more to this. Making it a good five paragraphs and make sure to tell the boy's story...and his encounter in more detail. The vote will go higher, but please elaborate.