[Sofia Robards]

Everything had to be perfect, from the line of her skirt to the dip of her pearls. She needed to look the part as her life was slowly was crumbling around her. If the Prophet got word of the Dillan/Wendell fiasco, or worse yet that Lola creature, her life and career would come to an end. Which was why she was going to give the newspapers something else to focus on. The perfect life of one Sofia Robards - the woman who could balance love and a career and reform a notorious womanizer.

It would be difficult but well worth the end results. A spotless reputation.

First she needed to look perfect, which required a bit more work than she usually would have bothered with but it was all for a purpose so she grudgingly applied her lipstick. She couldn’t let the public see anything was wrong, especially not her intended red herring, the man she planned to act as her fellow deceiver would never agree to any plans then.

Next she needed the perfect man to use as a shield, someone acceptable, someone pure, someone wealthy, someone that her mother would go into raptures over, someone she would never fall in love with. Someone like Jasper Christie. Once she talked with him and brought him over to her side he would see the logic in the scheme she had been musing over for the past week. After all he was the ideal candidate for such a venture. That man had something, she wasn’t sure what but something was off. He was hiding something and probably paid the same little fees to the prophet to keep his name out of its trashy society section, he had to if Edward had seen that Carmen creature lurking about him. Carmen only lurked if there was a story or money…

And so with all on mind Sofia had come up with a fool proof plan to end her problems and the hypothetical ones Jasper possessed – they could pretend to date. Be the ideal couple in the public eye and keep those eyes there rather than in their real personal business. From her slowly developing knowledge on the most eligible Christie he would be rather keen on such a diversion. That paired with the fact that his house was large enough to have more than one spare bedroom and was a mere 3 blocks from her flat made it all the more do able.

Sofia was more than willing to set up and elaborate shadow show for the press if it meant they wouldn’t bother with looking into the disappearance of Dillan and the reappearance of Wendell. She could wave to those that had trailed them ‘home’ and then disappear into Jasper’s home for what they would assume was a passion filled night while really she would be slipping back to her place to finish the day’s paperwork. They could look perfect without an ounce of chemistry and it would take a mere hour or so out of their daily schedules.

All of this logic was what had led the department head to be knocking on Jasper’s locked door. Hopefully he would be game enough to at least hear the plan through.

[Jasper Christie]

Jasper had finally put up his still-booted feet after closing the shop when there was a knock at his door. It hadn't been an especially busy day; the midwinter doldrums had set in around the Alley and business was sluggish, but he'd occupied himself transfiguring some bright new pink diamonds for the spring collection. It was a task that required a lot of concentration, and he'd been glad for a rare day of quiet. Mercifully, Atlas had agreed to take Rudolph with him when he went to visit Margot.

He'd been about to reward himself with a martini for successfully completing another day without snapping at a customer. Jasper hated winter anyway; all the grime on London's streets did nothing for his shoes and cuffs and there was nothing quite as miserable as going into a gig or club wet from chilly rain. Now he had the added burden of the Cal-- debacle didn't even begin to cover it. He really hadn't effectively come up with a word that explained what a disaster everything had turned into. Cataclysm, perhaps. The only upside to the scenario was that his parents had never sorted out the extent of their relationship; then he would have been drinking a lot more.

As it was, having one's former boyfriend unexpectedly confess to heinous crimes didn't exactly brighten the day. His chief annoyance had been the method of confession; by actually doing the right thing and going to the authorities, Cal had deprived Jasper of his right to bitter long term revenge. Bastard. Sure, he'd gotten in a bit of spur of the moment violence, but that just didn't have the same fulfilling sense as continued emotional torment. He'd been hard pressed in recent weeks to keep up a smile for customers and not bludgeon Atlas with his pet's femur, so he wasn't in the mood for company. He mixed the martini a bit stronger than usual and took it with him downstairs, hoping that it was just Atlas and he'd lost his house key or Rudolph and his hand had fallen off on the doorknob again. If it was a late-coming customer they could piss off.

The silhouette behind the shade when he got downstairs was definitely not Atlas, nor was it skeletal. In fact, it was distinctly and attractively female. Consider Jasper curious. He shifted the martini to his other hand and reached for the lock, glancing down at his black Dior Homme suit to make sure it was still pristine.

Sofia Robards? She was just about the last person Jasper expected to find on his doorstep, especially dressed up in clothes a bit less severe than the office attire she usually had on when he saw her around the Alley. Jasper had long had a sinking suspicion that Sofia didn't especially like him; they'd run in the same social circle since childhood but never been more than the most casual acquaintances. Sofia's love affair with legality hadn't endeared her to Jasper, despite his mother's frequent comments about what a lovely daughter the Robards had. Nonetheless, she did have a lot of social connections and enough money to afford some of his most extravagant pieces, so he had to put on a good face.

"Miss Robards, what a surprise." He smiled and held the door. "Won't you come in?"

He wanted to tell her to come back tomorrow, when he'd had time to prepare himself with a relaxing day of martinis and Cary Grant films, but he forced his 'customer voice' out.

"I'm just having a drink, why don't you join me?" He led the way upstairs before she could argue and possibly smudge his newly polished cases with curious fingertips. "What brings you here?"

[Sofia Robards]

"Miss Robards, what a surprise. Won't you come in?"

Sofia smiled as she quickly assessed the man. He was different than she remembered but then again she had lost track of the man for quite some time. Taller than her, but not too tall. Dark hair and she could see why her brother tried to emulate the man for a period of time. He would do perfectly.

"I'm just having a drink, why don't you join me?"

He didn't give her time to answer, or even time to hint at the slightly awkward nature of her visit. Off they were practically sprinting though the shop past displays of various gems and up a flight of stairs. Jasper certainly was not going to try to sell her anything. There that was going to make it even less awkward. Didn't pickups usually happen over drinks? So her propositioning him was going to happen in a customary manner...

Sofia reinforced her smile. No matter how she spinned it things were going to be awkward. She just had to keep her eye on the prize.

"What brings you here?"

Only the desire to make you my pretend boyfriend. "Well I suppose that drink. I'll take whatever you are having." She responded, very sure that she was going to need the fortification to get around to the topic.

Jasper handed her martini without a moment's hesitation, only a curious smile giving her some clue as to what he was thinking. Sofia took a small sip. He made his drinks strong. Thank merlin!

"Lovely. Thank you." Another sip, this time much larger.

"Now I suppose you must be wondering what I am doing here. I'm afraid that's rather awkward - We will get to that in a moment. First a hint." Another sip and a quick look at him through veiled lids. He still looked pleasantly curious. It was rather alarming to be in the presence of another well trained pureblood. She had gotten used to the impostor Dillan's real Wendell's ways. So easy to read.

"How is you mother doing? How is she taking your unwed and uncommitted state?" She asked, unable to help but give a slightly abashed smile at the end of it.

[Jasper Christie]

Sofia accepted the drink and held it in perfectly manicured fingers, hesitating gracefully in the center of the study carpet. It took Jasper a moment to realize she was waiting to be offered a seat. He spent less and less time taking out pureblood women, perhaps in a silent rebellion against his mother's constant suggestions that he should, so he rarely got to put the proper manners to use. He gestured at one of the chairs near the fireplace and took the one opposite.

"Now I suppose you must be wondering what I am doing here. I'm afraid that's rather awkward - We will get to that in a moment. First a hint."

Jasper waited. This seemed to be some kind of extremely bizarre pickup line, but from Robards? Her favorite activities were making sure people got the harshest possible punishment for petty crimes and starching her skirts. Cal had possessed an odd affection for her, but Jasper actually found her a bit frightening. He had a faint suspicion that she might have spring loaded blades in her high heels.

"How is you mother doing? How is she taking your unwed and uncommitted state?"

That was...oddly personal. Her smile suggested that it was perhaps just a pureblood joke. Sofia was about his age and came from practically the exact mirror of his family; she probably got the same quiet hints from her mother all the time. He offered her a sympathetic smile and rolled his eyes slightly.

"She's well. Busy with her charities and that lot. She owls on a near-daily basis to ask if I've met anyone. I'm afraid she's going to start paying models to start ambushing me in white dresses."

He added a shrug to confirm that his mother wasn't that insane (yet).

"And your family? I saw Edward out in Hoxton the other night." The younger Robards was Jasper's preferred member of the clan, because he was the least like Sofia and thus the most like other, regular people.

[Sofia Robards]

He was seeing this as a joke. Understandable. She hadn't exactly made herself crystal clear. Rather the opposite. It was to blunt and to unladylike to just make a proposition like hers. It would cause him to have some sort of heart palpitation and faint - and then she'd be forced to use some white fluffy healing magic...which might give him another palpitation and well the circle would be endless at best, she'd be tried for murder at worst. She had never been a very patient sort.

"And your family? I saw Edward out in Hoxton the other night."

She frowned. Hoxton and Edward. That was never a good combination. Her mother was going to be paying Lola some terrible sum no doubt to keep whatever he had been doing out of the papers. On the bright side this was news to her... which meant he hadn't been brought in. One of the other wretched brunettes would have gloated about it. At least he still had some sense.

"Lets see - My mother still has me do fittings for her dream dress. She's been having a fit since Dillan was assigned a deep undercover operation and we broke it off for the good of all." She gave a 'sad' little shrug. Bloody Dillan. She should have killed Wendell in his second form when she had a chance.

"However that's neither here nor now. Edward is... Edward and William is living the dream. Has an appropriate wife, appropriate job, appropriate children. Unlike me." But I can change that. With your help. Or some other pureblood. But really I don't have marriage in mind. Just something to get everyone off my back for a bit...and you're the only one who is liked minded enough to go along with it. For some reason that didn't seem like an appropriate way of getting it. There was another way. Maybe.

"Now you likely know I didn't come here to talk about my family. I came here to talk about our mutual situations. Situations that could easily be mended with minimal effort on our parts."

If she could describe Jasper's face, it was either carefully blank or his brain had just shut off in shock. She didn't know Jasper well enough to tell the difference. But seeing as she had as good as asked him to be her pretend boyfriend she was going to go out on a limb and say he didn't get such propositions every day. Especially from someone he got along with as well as her... oh yes the shutters had not been lost on her, and Cal had just about as said as much. She's wasn't exactly the image of the ideal female Jasper seemed to go for.

He was still silent. This was a terrible idea. Sofia stood. "Perhaps I over stepped my bounds Mr. Christie. I merely assumed you would enjoy some breathing room as much as I would. I'll let myself out."

[Jasper Christie]

At the mention of Edward, Sofia did a very good impression of someone eating a lemon. He didn't suppose she would appreciate the details of their encounter in 333 the other night, although Edward had been the picture of hospitality. He'd bought Jasper a martini and managed to maintain some semblance of a conversation for at least three minutes before wavering backward into a booth full of models (wonderful spot of luck, that). Jasper often thought he should get to know the younger Robards; he could be a sort of mentor for the bloke. They were very alike, aside from Edward's complete lack of discretion and inability to stave off the suspicions of Ministry employees. Jasper truly wondered at that, considering Edward's distinct advantage of having one in the family. Clearly he just needed some gentle guidance.

Jasper struggled to keep his face neutral when Sofia mentioned Dillan Wentworth. Of course he knew all about Wendell's undercover adventures; being the only person aware of a secret identity came with certain privileges. He gave a conciliatory sort of shrug when she mentioned the breakup and she mercifully moved on before he had to come up with something appropriately noncommital to say about Dillan.

"Now you likely know I didn't come here to talk about my family. I came here to talk about our mutual situations. Situations that could easily be mended with minimal effort on our parts."

What? Jasper had no idea what was going on. The last few sentences were more than Sofia had said to him in seven years at Hogwarts and the decade after combined. He'd thought that he had a fairly solid grasp on her distaste for him, and he'd always found her exceptionally chilly and slightly frightening. Cal had liked that aspect of her personality. In fact, Cal had liked her more than almost anyone else that Jasper had seen him interact with.

"Perhaps I over stepped my bounds Mr. Christie. I merely assumed you would enjoy some breathing room as much as I would. I'll let myself out."

Sofia stood stiffly and Jasper realized he'd been meant to say something after her previous....proposal? He'd simply been quite confused, though apparently she thought the situation was clear. He put a hand out, gesturing for her to take her seat again.

"No, I apologize Miss Robards. I think I'm just being incredibly thick about this and needed a moment--" He waited for her to sit.

"I assume the situations you're referring to are our mutually unmarried ones. I have no idea what else yours entails but it's safe to assume that in my case you're also referring to--" He paused, uncertain if he wanted to admit to something Sofia probably knew very little about. But she'd come to him, apparently in need of something, so she didn't have much leverage-- "Calixtus Ferox. Though that particular indiscretion isn't so widely known--and I'd rather it remained so no matter what your plan is-- it would be redeeming to my reputation to make some sort of more appropriate arrangement."

He finished his martini and stood to mix another.

"What do you have in mind?

[Sofia Robards]

A hand stopped her from what she was going to make into a very subdued exit. No use making a scene. Then a gesture, one for her to take a seat. Perhaps she had misjudged the situation. She raised an eyebrow but did as he bid, dropping gracefully back into her seat and taking back up the glass. And listened.

He didn't get it at first! Oh dear, now she looked like a fool. She kept on her interrogation face, which doubled as her party face. Mild interest. He had gotten her reference. She had to have been a fool to not notice. Oh in public yes they had been good, she hadn't even put them together at the party. But after, odd events and little things and a bit of recent prying had told her that Jasper was just as much in need of becoming the sweetheart of the press as she was.

Jasper finished his martin, she lifted her now empty martin glass and gave him a little smile.

"What do you have in mind?"

The little smile became a beam. He was thinking about it! That was more than she had thought possible after her pervious blunder. "This is just a rough outline mind. However depending on how we play this not only can we get our mothers off our backs, but we can also become the pureblood poster children. Its a matter of how much we are willing to put into it." She glanced up at the man and gave a reassuring smile. "I will never be willing to marry you. Now take that look off your face. If anything we can have an extremely prolonged engagement with me getting called away at an opportune moment."

Jasper made some sort of comment. It was not matter. Inconsequential if he wanted to take it that far. Really it all depended on how well they worked together.

"Anyway my plan was just to pose as the ideal couple. We go out on a few dates, once a week at first till we gage how well the charade is working, and you move all your indiscretions to extremely discrete status. It will be win win. Our parents will be ecstatic, I'm sure the press will be open to such a match and - " and you can't get that much better of a revenge then dating one of the few attendies of Wendell's fake funeral "you'll find that as far as girlfriends go, you'll only notice you have one when there is a stunning lack of young pureblood girls being thrown at you head first. You don't have to decide today. I'm a very patient woman."

[Jasper Christie]

Sofia smiled. Somewhere, Satan watched the winged pig migration with Jim Morrison while building a snowman. Jasper was distinctly unnerved. The only other time he'd seen Sofia smile was when they'd gotten to practice stunning spells on other students during fourth year DADA.

"I will never be willing to marry you." Jasper's lips quirked into a smile. As though that had ever been even the most distant possibility. "Now take that look off your face. If anything we can have an extremely prolonged engagement with me getting called away at an opportune moment."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "I'm sure we can think of something plausible."

As Sofia explained her plan, Jasper had to admit that he admired her capacity for a good scheme. Under different circumstances, she'd have made a brilliant criminal. That, he realized, was going to be something of an issue if they really had to spend a lot of time together; he doubted Sofia would be keen on a relationship with (another) criminal. Especially a very well-publicized one. He supposed he had the new shop as an excuse for a legitimate job for now, and he could base some of his criminal enterprises there too. The models would be less of a problem; she already knew they existed, and didn't seem to care as long as he didn't parade them around for the Prophet. Better than Cal, then.

"It will be win win. Our parents will be ecstatic, I'm sure the press will be open to such a match and you'll find that as far as girlfriends go, you'll only notice you have one when there is a stunning lack of young pureblood girls being thrown at you head first. You don't have to decide today. I'm a very patient woman."

Jasper didn't need time to think about it; Sofia was right, it was an ideal situation. A few months off from the constant owls from his mother and-- Jasper was a bit worried that he was this petty-- a relationship so public that Cal could hardly miss it. And-- bonus-- with one of the few people toward which he'd ever displayed anything other than loathing. That was something else he wouldn't tell Sofia, although he suspected that she knew more than he'd initially given her credit for.

"You've thought of everything except the location for our 'wedding,' haven't you?" Jasper grinned. "You've got a deal, Miss Robards. Shall I tip off the Prophet gossip column about our first date, or would you like the honors?"

[Sofia Robards]

Jasper's eyes were lost only for a moment in thought. Merlin help her if he let their blatant lack of natural chemistry get in the way. She could procure an amorous haze in a second - all she had to do was think of a certain very alive neighborhood criminal and pretend it was him and not Jasper. She also would have to make sure she didn't try to strangle Jasper if she got too involved in her fantasy. Screaming 'Die Wendell Die' as she rang Jasper's neck wouldn't end well she imagined. Either way she wanted his decision fast.

Mercifully he did so.

"You've thought of everything except the location for our 'wedding,' haven't you?"

Sofia grinned back. He was in. Their lives were both going to become so much easier and Merlin the good press for the office would be remarkable. She might even become the first liked department head of Level Two since Potter disappeared. Best not to get to excited about that. Lola and Carmen would make sure her name was muddied a bit. But so long as they didn't dig up old news like Dillan Wentworth all she worked towards would be achieved.

"I was thinking we could just rent out all of Diagon Alley for the glorious occasion. You know something modest and subtle."

Jasper grinned. She grinned some more. There was so much ginning in the room that one might even think that the two were actually feeling the start of some attraction rather than the hoax of the year...almost.

"You've got a deal, Miss Robards. Shall I tip off the Prophet gossip column about our first date, or would you like the honors?"

Sofia's mind raced through her list of gossip prospects. While tipping off Lola with a 'scoop' might buy her a discount for the next time Edward was up to no good it would seem too out of character. She never divulged any aspect of her personal life to the press. Just criminal captures and acts of bravery done by Level two.

"I feel that honor is yours - and will likely always fall to you. My reputation with the press isn't established on a... personal sphere. It would look down right odd for me to break my silence now."

She downed the last of her drink. "Any ideas as to where our first date should be? I know there's a museum gala two weeks from now..." She paused, biting her lips as she though of other appropriate social events. "... and I can't believe I'm suggesting this but Edward's holding an Un-Official Un-Birthday Party at Club NME tomorrow night. He sent the dress and invite last night. The theme is 'un' things?" She gave a helpless shrug. "Introducing him to Sinistra wasn't one of my brighter moves."

[Jasper Christie]

There had never been this much happiness in Sofia Robards' presence, Jasper was sure of it. Usually she was surrounded with an aura of small crying children and people searching the ground for their missing teeth. She seemed to be thinking hard about something. Jasper wondered if she'd come to her senses and realized that they'd hated each other since the Paleozoic Era, thus they shouldn't plan on spending vast quantities of time together over the next several months. But it turned out she was just scheming. Jasper could admire that quality in a woman.

"I feel that honor is yours - and will likely always fall to you. My reputation with the press isn't established on a... personal sphere. It would look down right odd for me to break my silence now."

"Very true." Jasper considered his own list of contacts. He wasn't especially friendly with any gossip columnists (distinctly unfriendly with some), but he was on their radar. "That woman from the Prophet-- Lila? Lola?-- she's always lurking around Daphne's with her camera at the ready on Fridays when I go on, I can make sure she hears me talking about my 'new girlfriend.'"

Sofia finished her drink. Before he had. Another admirable quality. He nodded questioningly at her glass.

"Any ideas as to where our first date should be? I know there's a museum gala two weeks from now..." She hesitated, frowning slightly. "... and I can't believe I'm suggesting this but Edward's holding an Un-Official Un-Birthday Party at Club NME tomorrow night. He sent the dress and invite last night. The theme is 'un' things? Introducing him to Sinistra wasn't one of my brighter moves."

"Brilliant, I love Edward. I'll pick you up in the Aston so Lola can get some nice, high profile pictures. Would you prefer flowers or jewelry when I meet you at the door?" The frown deepened. Jasper considered retracting the statement; he knew from the male Robards that there was some tension between the siblings, mostly arising from Sofia's adoration for the law and Edward's remarkable disregard for it. At least Edward's amusing, moderately alcoholic presence would mitigate Sofia's during this debacle.

"Is it fancy dress? He invited me too, but I had no idea what one wears to a party where the theme is negation."

[Sofia Robards]

He would pick her up in the Aston and they were going to one of her brother's infamous parties. It was going to look like they had been going together for a while with all the family connections there...which actually would look rather nice. Seeing as he was going to tell Lola she was his girlfriend. She just needed to act the part. Just pretend he's Wendell.

"I'd rather you bring me a machine gun...Mr. Caedmon has some lovely specimens in his store." She paused and blushed. The whole pretending he's Wendell thing was going to have too many flaws. Perhaps Dillan before she wanted to rip his head off. Yeah that would be better. No talk of guns - they weren't comfortable enough with violence yet for that.

She pressed onward. "However I don't think the press would like that much. You may bring me flowers or jewelry without any precious stones. I'm a young lady after all. Only what was it...Ah yes whores and women of no class take gems before an engagement or a three month courtship period." She shrugged. "Not my rule but we are trying to please the parents as well."

Yes pretending he was Dillan worked much better.

"Is it fancy dress? He invited me too, but I had no idea what one wears to a party where the theme is negation."

The invite had simple said it was an 'un' party. Really how was she supposed to know what that meant any more than Jasper? He was the party goer. It was a wonder Edward had even invited her at all - and thought to go as far as get her a dress and a 'un' theme.

"I'm going unarmed. I suppose you can go as underdressed? Though I can't imagine you achieving that. Rumor on the street is that Apollo is going undressed - thought I'm sure Artemis will lead him some good sense. Before he heads out the door."

Jasper made some response or another but she was still trying to blast the image of a naked Apollo out of her mind. "Well then I'll see you tomorrow." With that she headed out.