• • ABOUT • •

[Admin]

This is the part of the show where our regular listeners can let their voices be heard. If you've got something to sell or just want to air your opinion, point your wand at your throat and say Fellytonus WWN, the Lee Jordan show! We are taking your ads in five...four...three...two...

OOC: Post your in-character announcements in this thread. Roleplays are welcome and encouraged.

[Apollo Sinistra]

Hello Lee! This is Apollo Sinistra with your fashion forecast straight form the heart of fashion itself - The Sinistra Secondhand Shop! Now fellow wizards and witches tired of mundane spells and common turns of phrase? Looking for something that will make even a muggle stop in his tracks in excitement and awe when you stick out your tongue? Well then the Sinistra Twins have something for you... *drum roll* Tongue Twisters! These enjoyable corkscrew tongue extensions of delight will be sure to add an extra twist to your words and a curl to your tongue - literally! . With these tongue twisters we guarantee to have you sporting the latest fashion trend - twisted tongues. Stop by Sinistra's Secondhand Shop today before they become a fashion statement of the past!

[Carmen Snidgeton]

Carmen comes on the air, her voice disguised as an old woman's...



"G-good Evening, the Lee Jordan Show...My p-p-poor little Snuggles, m-my p-p-poor little puffskein...just this morning I woke up to find him--to find him DEAD! (insert outrageous burst of sobbing here) Oh deary me, please excuse me, it was s-so sudden! (blows into hanky) It-it seems that some young hoodlum forced a strange twisted device down his poor little throat. His poor little puffskein throat, I tell you! And it looked oddly like a...t-twisted tongue! Please, anyone who's listening, (sobbity sob), beware the twisted tongues! They're cursed! If you find out what dark wizard is responsible for these devices, please, contact the Department of Magical Law Enforcement before another victim is claimed! Your loved ones may be next! (Gentle sobbing) M-my p-poor little Sniggle Wiggles never did anything to harm anyone...oh, deary me... " (The voice slowly fades away, still lamenting the loss of Sniggle Wiggles)



"Ha! How's that for business, Chimera Sinistra?" says Carmen in her real voice, once she's off the air.

[Sofia Robards]

Sofia's voice comes on the air sounding hassled...

"Good Evening Lee, this is Sofia Robards. Due to the recent number of calls to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement it is my duty to inform the wizarding public that these alleged tongue twisters have been examined and there is no evidence supporting claims of their being the work of dark wizards. We would like all of you to remain calm. ( insert muted conversation and a large sigh from Sofia) On behalf of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement I would like to thank all of you for being so helpful in providing leads. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement thanks you for your help and encourages any persons with information concerning dark wizards or evil deeds to contact us immediately. We are committed to your safety and well being and wish you all a good evening." (voice leaves the air)

In office to no one in particular as she continues to sort through owls about the tongue twisters "Cue paranoid nutters. As if I didn't already have enough paper work to sort through."

[Wendell Darrow]

Wendell's voice is suddenly heard across the airwaves...

"Good Evening Lee! This is Wendell Darrow here! I was listening to your radio show, (it's my favorite!), when suddenly I heard the dulcet tones of that angelic Auror Sofia Robards! Oh beautful, darling Sofia the very sound of your voice is like the twinkling of silver bells from heaven itself! Won't you please stop around the Leaky Cauldron tonight for a pint with me? I will be waiting impatiently to see your lovely face and hear your melodious voice once more!"

(Wendell's voice leaves the air)

(Sitting in a pub somewhere)

"Ha! I'm telling you lot there's no way she'll be able to resist me now! You might as well pay up that bet now lads, because tonight I'll be on a date with a member of the Brunette Hottie League!"

[Edward Garrow]

Chuckling slightly as he comes on the air, but quickly becoming grave, Edward Garrow signs in. His voice is smooth, low, with only a faint hint of a smoker's roughness...

"Junior Undersecretary Edward Garrow here. I've just received an owl from Darien Holywell, a top Healer at St. Mungo's. He and I are in agreement in this: we urge all members of the magical community and particularly the youth--I repeat, particularly the youth--to stay away from Knockturn Alley. In the event that a trip there is necessary, it is of utmost importance that you do NOT purchase, pick up or touch anything other than what you went for. This applies especially to clothing and jewelry. Please, for your own safety, avoid clothing and jewelry in Knockturn Alley. Visit Sinistra's Secondhand Shop instead, and pick up one of those fashionable, non-deadly Tongue Twisters.

(chuckling again) Oh, and a message from Sofia Robards to Wendell Darrow. "Some other time; too much paperwork." Bad luck, old chum. Junior Undersecretary Ed Garrow signing out: good night, and good luck."

[Kate Derum]

Kate comes on the air. Her voice is cheerful and she’s talking quite fast.

Hey Lee! This is Kate Derum. I’m calling in to tell everyone about the fashion section of the Daily Prophet. They just got a new writer. His name is Apollo Sinistra. He’s absolutely fantastic! All his ideas are brilliant and so trendy. Plus, he’s cute, but that’s a different story. Everyone should shop at Sinistra Secondhand Shop. That’s where he works, if you didn’t know. And, no, he didn’t pay me to say this. I’ve met him once at the place where we work and I actually helped him with the fashion article, but that also, is a different story. Anyways, the store is adorable. I went there with this healer named Darien. He broke this cursed necklace I was trying to buy and so he took me to Apollo’s shop to buy another one. I think it was because he felt bad for breaking this really cute red on I bought in Knockturn Alley. Did you guys know how much cute jewelry you can buy there? And everything is really cheap! But that’s besides the point. I found this ultra cute yellow necklace that matches perfectly with this red dress I bought with my mom. It’s going to look fantastic. I guess that’s all.(pause) Go Sinistra Secondhand Shop!

Kate giggles, and hangs up.

[Admin]

I resurrect thee, thread!

Thanks for all the calls. We'll hear you next time on the Lee Jordan Show!

~24 Hours Later~

Welcome back! How about those sponsors, eh? Let's hear it for Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction! (hits applause button) If you're just tuning in, this is Lee Jordan and you're listening to my show! We've come to the listener's voice part of the show. If you've got something to say, you know the drill! Fellytonus is open for the next half an hour. And we're taking your calls in five...four...three...two...

[Apollo Sinistra]

* a sunny voice all of Lee's regulars instantly recognize comes on*

Why Lee! Its been to long! Glad to see the ban on Sinistra Shop Announcements was lifted. Now Wizarding London do I have a thing for you! Better than tongue twisters, better than fur ruffs, and best of all they are super easy to upkeep and make better pets than owls! That's right folks... Sinistra's Second Hand Shop is pleased to announce the latest muggle curiosity to enter their hallowed halls - Miniature Living and Neighing My-Little-Ponies!

Who doesn't want a little bit of PInkie Pie in their pocket? Or perhaps you would rather play with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo? And lets not forget Toola-Roola, Cheerilee, Sweetie Belle and Starsong. All of these are available at the Sinistra Shop by special order. Be the first with a miniature pony today!

[Hanselm Zimmerman]

*in a slight German accent*

Hello, everyone, this is Hanselm Zimmerman. Of Zimmerman's Men's Fashions Emporium, in the Wickliff District. We are currently having our annual post-Crimbo sale -- all suits and coats are 30% off. All of our suits are tailored to you, and we promise the utmost in customer satisfaction. Also, Wizarding customers are offered additional charms for more efficient pocketry and protection from the elements for a small additional fee. All of our fashions are hand chosen, and we come from a long line of excellence, and we guarantee you'll love the way you look.